Ok, quick poll: Is a couple engaged when they agree to get married, or when after such agreement, a gemstone ring changes hands?

Someone on my lj flist made a breathless announcement that she was officially engaged because she was now wearing a big rock on her hand. The next day she got all huffy because only three people congratulated her. Now, I had congratulated her wayyyyy back when, when she said she had agreed to, some day in the future, marry this guy. So I didn't put a real high priority on congratulating her again (esp. since I had to skedadle to get to work on time). This is not the only source of my puzzlement about the subtle differences in the social status between having accepted a marriage proposal, and getting an engagement ring. I had a roommate after college, who insisted she wasn't truly engaged yet, but was going to get engaged at some point after she and her intended went ring shopping. My point with her was that they had already had the conversation and had come to an agreement that they were planning to get married (in some more committed fashion than Becky Thatcher and Tom Sawyer), therefore they were as officially engaged as it was possible to be.

Perhaps I had been reading too many Jane Austen novels.

What say the Bitches?

Whaaa??? :: shocked:: you mean? the b.org communicates in other forms than here?? ;-)

Sure, why Daniel and I use IM all the time. And once in a while, we even break out the Dry Erase Marker and write notes. Not to mention I almost communicated with him earlier tonight by throwing a handful of drill bits at his head, but upon mature reflection decided it wasn't his fault the drill didn't fit inside the brackets for the Roman shades.

Oh, hey, did I mention, we got two of the new shades installed tonight? Looks spiffy in the bedroom. I can't wait to get them up in the enclosed porch - it's gonna be so sunny in there. And it looks much improved just having those heavy dark drapes taken down.

Mayonnaise is the ooze of the devil, unless it's holding together chicken salad with the absolute minimum amount.

I say, if you are in love, a marriage proposal accepted says you are engaged. If you are a gold digger, then I guess you'd need the ring. But I'm a hopeless romantic with a not-so-large income.

A friend of mine got engaged. Her bf got down on a knee and flashed a pair of Jimmy Buffet tickets and said "would you marry me?" She was so filled with glee. Not only engaged, but tickets to see Buffet!!! As she put it "a much more practical gift than a silly rock".

Mayonnaise is the ooze of the devil, unless it's holding together chicken salad with the absolute minimum amount.

eew. Just picturing what ooze that is.

Ok, quick poll: Is a couple engaged when they agree to get married, or when after such agreement, a gemstone ring changes hands?

Since I don't think a ring even needs to be part of the deal, I'd say the former. I feel sad for anyone who thinks an engagement isn't "real" without a rock. At the same time, I can understand not feeling it's real until you've set a date. Insane troll logic? Perhaps.

The tradition of an engagement ring is much more recent than the tradition of agreeing to get married. I've never understood the distinction myself, and am in the ornery-and-purely-theoretical camp that says "Why do I need a ring to be engaged and he doesn't?"

A friend of mine got engaged. Her bf got down on a knee and flashed a pair of Jimmy Buffet tickets and said "would you marry me?" She was so filled with glee. Not only engaged, but tickets to see Buffet!!! As she put it "a much more practical gift than a silly rock".

I like this story. Obviously he knew her well enough... good foundation for a marriage in my book.

October 1st they get hitched. It'll be the 2nd wedding of hers I'll attend, and hopefully the last. Sadly, it wasn't me on the bended knee. But they are a great couple, so I can't complain.

I'd like to think my hypothetical fiance would more appreciate an engagement laptop than a ring.

But then there's a side to me that's annoyed that I'm expected to shell out big bucks for and engagement-anything. Two months salary? There's so many more practical things to do with that money. Think of all the trips that could pay for....