Damn it! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt monkey!

Xander ,'Lessons'


Natter 53: We could just avoid making tortured puns  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


Jesse - Sep 12, 2007 7:11:02 am PDT #9883 of 10001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

Bill Dohonue can suck it.

Last night, after many flights of stairs and a long night of packing ahead of me, I see an email asking about the attachments. I say "I gave you the attachments on Tuesday with the hard copy of the draft" His response "Are there attachments required? Call me"

Oh my god, I had no idea my boss had a male twin. I'm so sorry. I was just looking through old LJ posts, and I swear to god, except for the moving, I've posted this exact thing.


Tom Scola - Sep 12, 2007 7:11:18 am PDT #9884 of 10001
Mr. Scola’s wardrobe by Botany 500

Best. Obiturary. Ever!

I linked to one of The Telegraph's earlier obits a few months ago, which is just as good: [link]


Jesse - Sep 12, 2007 7:12:48 am PDT #9885 of 10001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

What you need to to is call it something relentlessly positive, like "Nice People In Favor Of Hugs And Puppies," and then issue scathing attacks calling for apologies whenever anyone makes a public statement but fails to explicitly state their pro-hugs-and-puppies stance.

Brilliant!


Polter-Cow - Sep 12, 2007 7:18:41 am PDT #9886 of 10001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!

Thank you for the birthday wishes!


Nora Deirdre - Sep 12, 2007 7:22:14 am PDT #9887 of 10001
I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! (Bojack Horseman)

I linked to one of The Telegraph's earlier obits a few months ago, which is just as good: [link]

clicky click

I remember that now! Still hilarious.


shrift - Sep 12, 2007 7:26:06 am PDT #9888 of 10001
"You can't put a price on the joy of not giving a shit." -Zenkitty

What you need to to is call it something relentlessly positive, like "Nice People In Favor Of Hugs And Puppies,"

And then I will start up a competing organization called "Awesome People In Favor Of Smoochies And Kittens" and demand to know why you want the happycat to run out of happy.


bon bon - Sep 12, 2007 7:28:47 am PDT #9889 of 10001
It's five thousand for kissing, ten thousand for snuggling... End of list.

I believe Nora posted that obituary without considering the effect of said post on puppies. This offends me and all right-thinking bons.


Nora Deirdre - Sep 12, 2007 7:29:24 am PDT #9890 of 10001
I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! (Bojack Horseman)

Suck it, Lord Pratt!


§ ita § - Sep 12, 2007 7:32:41 am PDT #9891 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

How did Pratt die?

I think that was basically a cool obit, except scattered. I reel at the existence of Pratts and von Bismarcks. Incredibly alien. Alien like Theresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake. I understand you can't just sign up for the former, but they're both equally other to me.


Nora Deirdre - Sep 12, 2007 7:34:41 am PDT #9892 of 10001
I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast! (Bojack Horseman)

Hm, based on this section of the obit, there seems to be myriad ways Lord Pratt could have died:

Several years ago, in Italy, he had a miraculous escape when he overturned his car on the main road between Grosseto and Siena.

Pratt managed to escape prosecution by disarming the local police with his charm, wit and smattering of pidgin Italian.

Pratt was equally dangerous with firearms. On one drive he shot a fellow gun in the eye, and invitations to shoot dried up.