Security priorities are seriously out of whack at my house.

Five-pound terrier walks down hall, as it has done several times a day for the past year: Furious, enraged barking. SAfe.

Helicopter hovering outside for the past ten minutes so close I can barely hear myself think: Dog does not even look up from the paw she's grooming. This could be serious! Hasn't she seen Red Dawn ?

There's this guy in Evanston who drives a custom van. On the side in the back, beneath the windows it's got a smaller window that's just big enough for a medium-sized dog's head to stick out. So he drives around with the dog sticking its head out the window, and the dog is just barking continuously at everything it sees.

I once saw a woman driving a car with a sunroof, and her dog had its head out the sunroof and the dog was looking in all directions and barking at everything.

I wonder what these dogs are thinking. "Reality - it moves. Must bark at it!"

I saw a Yorkie run through an agility test once -- he did excellently, actually, which is hard for a little dog, because for instance he had to run all the way up to the end of the teeter-totter in order for his slight weight to tip it down.

He BARKED the entire time. At the top of his small lungs. So I guess it's like breathing for some dogs.

Erinaceous is this week's On Language guest columnist, and as usual is made of awesome.

I remember seeing an article once that posited barking as a marker of arrested development among dogs as it is a youthful play behavior that wolves grow out of.

From Erinaceous's article:

...the phenomenon of the weaponized spork is one that passed lexicographers and language researchers by until we saw the corpus evidence.

Totally a Buffista phrase....

For "play" barking, sure. I'd buy that. I'm not sure that "security" barking falls into that pattern though. Boredom barking is something I'd also consider separate from play barking.

Plus there are breeds that are simply barkers - most of your terrier classes, for ex - and breeds that generally are not - huskies are basically non-barkers, unless it's really encouraged in them. Most fall somewhere in between.

Lucy is basically not a very barky dog, and only in her security function. Mailmen, doorbells and knocks on the door, but especially other dogs passing by are her big triggers. ETA: And the other dog thing show how much the security concern is defending her own turf, rather than "oh, she's protecting you..." heh.

I should add another category, which is "hurry up and give me what I want" barking, which in her case mostly arises if she's out in the yard and wants to come in and you haven't responded to her scratches at the door quickly enough for her liking.

In my experience, Yorkies are certainly very vocal.

Mike had a Samoyed that never barked. The whole time I lived with him, like three years, I never heard that dog bark. Not even chasing squirrels.

So excited for the Ripper news.

Lee, what did you want to do in San Jose?

Turn left from San Carlos onto Market, since the hotel Cass was in was on Market. They had the whole area blocked off because of the race, so I couldn't get there.