There isn't any circumstances that I'd want to know what cleanliness Terrence demands of his wimmin unless he was trying to convince me to be one of them. I'd still look at him funny, but at least then the info would be pertinent

well, I certainly hope that he's that fastidious because he plans on spending a lot of time down there.

Is it normal to want to kill your fiancee five weeks before the wedding?

Yes.

(Seriously: HUGE high-stress time! All kinds of deep and scary redefining who you are as a unit, masked by socially-enforced smiley-face stuff, needing some way of being vented! Plus, dude actually does need to take a day off if he's working 7 days. You both do. You're workaholics. Take a breather and be fun together.)

Callaluna, since I eloped because I really didn't want to deal with wedding stress , I can't say for sure. However, even being married there are times when you will want to throw heavy object at him . ( I f you work it right, there are less and less of those times) While this is driving you crazy - ask your self - how much does the tux matter? Neat, clean and close to the formality of the event is what you want. Has he got a suit? If the answer is yes, don't worry about it. He has something in the right general vein to wear. If it matters to you - (and that isn't a bad thing) get on the phone , do some research - see what you can do without him.

He may do everything without your help

I'm guessing yes, he wants to marry you, but getting a tux doesn't sound like much fun to him

Callaluna, I'm not self-employed, and I've only been in weddings as a groomsman. But if he knows what he wants, getting the tux should be very easily done. Does he know his size, and does he have the phone number for the rental place?

A few years ago, I was a groomsman in a wedding in Ireland. I told the groom my size, and he gave the info to the tux rental place. We arrived in Ireland on Tuesday for a Saturday wedding and were fine even though I needed a different size and I didn't do the fitting on Tuesday. And we aren't talking a large tux rental place (or even a big city).

Edit to Add: And what beth said on the "does he want to get married?" question. He may just hate shopping for and trying on clothes. Though I'd recommend that the best man find out groom's tux size and call the rental place instead of you.

I've known very few couples who haven't wanted to kill each other five weeks before the wedding. I think a lot of it is feeling that things are out of their control.

No, he doesn't have a suit, and YES it matters. If he shows up in a suit after I have spent all of this time and all of this money planning this whole affair with almost NO help from him, murder is going to happen. He can at the very least show up in an f-ing tuxedo, which is what he AGREED ON many many months ago. Further, I do not want to choose the tuxedo, nor do I want his best man to choose it - I want HIM TO CHOOSE HIS OWN FREAKING CLOTHING. Why is that unreasonable? I have spent an absolutely obnoxious amount of time choosing my own attire. Also, when his best man got married a few years ago, they had A BLAST choosing the tuxes, and he also VERY MUCH ENJOYED wearing said tuxedo.

I am relieved to hear that this is normal. Honestly, I have been beyond patient with him. I accepted the fact that this wasn't his thing, and I've dealt with pretty much everything by myself. But its HIS TUX! I don't want to choose his clothes for him.

We do need some time off. Both of us. Very much so.

I am insanely stressed and I so desperately want this to be over. Never. Again. Absolutely never. And if I ever have a daughter, I'm hiring her a freaking wedding planner and staying the hell out of it.

In other news, the dramatic commercial breaks on Hell's Kitchen drive me nuts. I don't even care who wins anymore, the only one from this season that I actually liked was Julia.

I am insanely stressed and I so desperately want this to be over. Never. Again. Absolutely never.

Delurking to say everyone I knew before I got married vowed the same thing. I started at a job, and for the first year a woman was planning her wedding. She knew I was engaged, and a month before her wedding, looked me straight in the eyes and said:

"Elope. I'm serious. Whatever you do, just... elope."

The next year, another co-worker got married. Two months before her wedding, she heaved a huge sigh, looked me straight in the eyes and said, yes, you guessed it:

"Elope. Go to Vegas. Send everyone a postcard later."

So, yes, it's all normal. Doesn't make it any less maddening, but it is normal.

I pretty much enjoyed both my weddings, though in neither case was the preparation what I'd call normal.

And I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

For baby wipes?

{{Callaluna}} Yeah, normal. As is working too damn much when you work for yourself. Try and take a little time to enjoy the process and each other. Maybe cut out some tuxedos from a catalog and an appropriate paper doll and play dress up with him. Trying to repeat the process he had with the best man might not work. Be sure to include blue ruffles with the samples.

Yay ita for a most excellent car repair report!

Yay JZ for the most excellent interview!