You have reached Ritual Sacrifice. For goats, press one or say 'goats.' To sacrifice a loved one or pet, press the pound key.

Phone Menu Voice ,'Conviction (1)'


Natter 53: We could just avoid making tortured puns  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


Dana - Jul 26, 2007 11:55:45 am PDT #409 of 10001
"I'm useless alone." // "We're all useless alone. It's a good thing you're not alone."

Woot! Second interview. Tomorrow morning in the middle of rush hour, but whatever.


Tom Scola - Jul 26, 2007 11:56:51 am PDT #410 of 10001
Mr. Scola’s wardrobe by Botany 500

Tomorrow morning in the middle of rush hour,

You mean you're having an interview in a highway median? I think I prefer Starbucks.


Dana - Jul 26, 2007 11:58:44 am PDT #411 of 10001
"I'm useless alone." // "We're all useless alone. It's a good thing you're not alone."

Yes, it's an interview for a job as a professional daredevil. They'll pay me to run with scissors.


Jesse - Jul 26, 2007 11:59:34 am PDT #412 of 10001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

Good luck, Dana!


Liese S. - Jul 26, 2007 12:00:52 pm PDT #413 of 10001
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."

Go you, Dana! You're knockin' 'em dead. (Hee. My apostrophe fetish made that sentence look like a Navajo word.)

I give credit to the pants.


JZ - Jul 26, 2007 12:02:51 pm PDT #414 of 10001
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.

They'll pay me to run with scissors.

Well, shit. Here I've been running with scissors for free all these years.

Congratulations!


tommyrot - Jul 26, 2007 12:03:47 pm PDT #415 of 10001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.

Here I've been running with scissors for free all these years.

It's because of people like you that professional scissors-runners often have a hard time making a living....


Aims - Jul 26, 2007 12:04:15 pm PDT #416 of 10001
Shit's all sorts of different now.

Here I've been running with scissors for free all these years.

Why buy the milk...


JZ - Jul 26, 2007 12:08:46 pm PDT #417 of 10001
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.

Hell, if I'd know there was a market for it, I'd've been there in a second. Maybe I should put it on my business cards.

Maybe I should have business cards.


tommyrot - Jul 26, 2007 12:09:55 pm PDT #418 of 10001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.

Why buy the milk...

Exactly.

What we need is a professional Scissors-Runners Union. With licensing of the Scissors-Runners to limit the supply. Sorta like being a licensed electrician.