Bwah! This thing is the vampire equivalent of Eragon, isn't it?

The sparkly vampire novel(s?) and planned movie are currently #1 on the list of my mockables.

OMG the excerpts! They are hilarious. Let me see if I could find some. For example:

And then his cold, marble lips pressed very softly against mine.

What neither of us was prepared for was my response.

Blood boiled under my skin, burned in my lips. My breath came in a wild gasp. My fingers knotted in his hair, clutching him to me. My lips parted as I breathed in his heady scent.

Immediately I felt him turn to unresponsive stone beneath my lips. His hands gently, but with irresistible force, pushed my face back. I opened my eyes and saw his guarded expression.

"Oops," I breathed.

"That's an understatement."

His eyes were wild, his jaw clenched in acute restraint, yet he didn't lapse from his perfect articulation. He held my face just inches from his. He dazzled my eyes.

"Should I… ?" I tried to disengage myself, to give him some room.

His hands refused to let me move so much as an inch.

"No, it's tolerable. Wait for a moment, please." His voice was polite, controlled.

I kept my eyes on his, watched as the excitement in them faded and gentled.

Then he smiled a surprisingly impish grin.

"There," he said, obviously pleased with himself.

"Tolerable?" I asked.

He laughed aloud. "I'm stronger than I thought. It's nice to know."

"I wish I could say the same. I'm sorry."

"You are only human, after all."

"Thanks so much," I said, my voice acerbic.

He was on his feet in one of his lithe, almost invisibly quick movements. He held out his hand to me, an unexpected gesture. I was so used to our standard of careful non-contact. I took his icy hand, needing the support more than I thought. My balance had not yet returned.

"Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?" How lighthearted, how human he seemed as he laughed now, his seraphic face untroubled. He was a different Edward than the one I had known. And I felt all the more besotted by him. It would cause me physical pain to be separated from him now.

AHAHAHA. Seriously. Cold marble lips! Lithe, almost invisibly quick movements! His seraphic face! And what 17 year old girl describes herself as "besotted"? It's like the schmooopiest Buffy/Angle4evah shippers have gone pro.

It would cause me physical pain to be separated from him now.

It'll probably cause more physical pain to get closer to him. IJS.

His eyes were wild, his jaw clenched in acute restraint, yet he didn't lapse from his perfect articulation.

This is just beautifully horrid writing in so many, many ways.

And what 17 year old girl describes herself as "besotted"?

Seriously!!

I like how she seems to truly characterize Edward in that scene as aggressively dull. Just like the comic says!

My 14-year-old niece LOVES those books. But she's, you know, 14.

Oh. My. God.

Patt Morrisson did a segment with Stephanie Meyer last week, I think. They were mostly talking about her new non-Twilight novel, The Host, which sounded... kind of... interesting. They didn't really talk about the Twilight series much, though they did mention the Rowling comparisons. I never would have made the connection here, except of the mentions of HP.

Wow. The writing. It burns, it burns.

I have read all three Twilight novels. They're like binging on really trashy junk food. You'll hate yourself later AND feel kind of oogy, but you just can't seem to stop. Mind you, if I had read these when I was 14, I might have been all OMG EDWARD IS THE PERFECT BOY!!1! Or maybe not, considering I had already read Dracula, everything Stephan King had ever written, and had a knee-jerk aversion to any book that could possibly be labeled as a romance.

I'm still going to go see the damn movie when it comes out. After it hits the cheap second-run theatre. Because sparkly vampires and teen angst are comedy gold.

They didn't really talk about the Twilight series much, though they did mention the Rowling comparisons.

They also mentioned the hordes of squealing pre-teen/teen fangirls and interviewed some of them.

The ones they picked were some of the most inarticulate Jello-headed bimbettes ever.

"I, like, like Edward because he's like...a vampire but not, you know, like, all vampire-like. And the love is so...love-ish and junk. It's AWESOME!"

exactly, Jilli! just like with my movie taste, it doesn't have to be award-winning greatness to get me to love it. it just has to be entertaining and these books certainly are.

question for you. did you love or hate Jacob?