Talk about bad fanfic-gone-pro. Is that true that the lead vampire guy sparkles?
Angel: You know, I killed my actual dad. It was one of the first things I did when I became a vampire. Wesley: I hardly see how that's the same situation. Angel: Yeah. I didn't really think that one through.
'Lineage'
Buffista Movies 6: lies and videotape
A place to talk about movies--old and new, good and bad, high art and high cheese. It's the place to place your kittens on the award winners, gossip about upcoming fims and discuss DVD releases and extras. Spoiler policy: White font all plot-related discussion until a movie's been in wide release two weeks, and keep the major HSQ in white font until two weeks after the video/DVD release.
Polter-Cow - May 14, 2008 7:21:50 am PDT #5624 of 10000
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
Matt the Bruins fan - May 14, 2008 7:51:17 am PDT #5625 of 10000
"I remember when they eventually introduced that drug kingpin who murdered people and smuggled drugs inside snakes and I was like 'Finally. A normal person.'” —RahvinDragand
Bwah! This thing is the vampire equivalent of Eragon, isn't it?
Vonnie K - May 14, 2008 8:19:42 am PDT #5626 of 10000
Kiss me, my girl, before I'm sick.
The sparkly vampire novel(s?) and planned movie are currently #1 on the list of my mockables.
OMG the excerpts! They are hilarious. Let me see if I could find some. For example:
And then his cold, marble lips pressed very softly against mine.
What neither of us was prepared for was my response.
Blood boiled under my skin, burned in my lips. My breath came in a wild gasp. My fingers knotted in his hair, clutching him to me. My lips parted as I breathed in his heady scent.
Immediately I felt him turn to unresponsive stone beneath my lips. His hands gently, but with irresistible force, pushed my face back. I opened my eyes and saw his guarded expression.
"Oops," I breathed.
"That's an understatement."
His eyes were wild, his jaw clenched in acute restraint, yet he didn't lapse from his perfect articulation. He held my face just inches from his. He dazzled my eyes.
"Should I… ?" I tried to disengage myself, to give him some room.
His hands refused to let me move so much as an inch.
"No, it's tolerable. Wait for a moment, please." His voice was polite, controlled.
I kept my eyes on his, watched as the excitement in them faded and gentled.
Then he smiled a surprisingly impish grin.
"There," he said, obviously pleased with himself.
"Tolerable?" I asked.
He laughed aloud. "I'm stronger than I thought. It's nice to know."
"I wish I could say the same. I'm sorry."
"You are only human, after all."
"Thanks so much," I said, my voice acerbic.
He was on his feet in one of his lithe, almost invisibly quick movements. He held out his hand to me, an unexpected gesture. I was so used to our standard of careful non-contact. I took his icy hand, needing the support more than I thought. My balance had not yet returned.
"Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?" How lighthearted, how human he seemed as he laughed now, his seraphic face untroubled. He was a different Edward than the one I had known. And I felt all the more besotted by him. It would cause me physical pain to be separated from him now.
AHAHAHA. Seriously. Cold marble lips! Lithe, almost invisibly quick movements! His seraphic face! And what 17 year old girl describes herself as "besotted"? It's like the schmooopiest Buffy/Angle4evah shippers have gone pro.
Ailleann - May 14, 2008 8:21:40 am PDT #5627 of 10000
vanguard of the socialist Hollywood liberal homosexualist agenda
It would cause me physical pain to be separated from him now.
It'll probably cause more physical pain to get closer to him. IJS.
JZ - May 14, 2008 8:21:45 am PDT #5628 of 10000
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.
His eyes were wild, his jaw clenched in acute restraint, yet he didn't lapse from his perfect articulation.
This is just beautifully horrid writing in so many, many ways.
Polter-Cow - May 14, 2008 8:25:47 am PDT #5629 of 10000
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
And what 17 year old girl describes herself as "besotted"?
Seriously!!
I like how she seems to truly characterize Edward in that scene as aggressively dull. Just like the comic says!
Scrappy - May 14, 2008 8:30:02 am PDT #5630 of 10000
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
My 14-year-old niece LOVES those books. But she's, you know, 14.
Sean K - May 14, 2008 8:53:37 am PDT #5631 of 10000
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty
Oh. My. God.
Patt Morrisson did a segment with Stephanie Meyer last week, I think. They were mostly talking about her new non-Twilight novel, The Host, which sounded... kind of... interesting. They didn't really talk about the Twilight series much, though they did mention the Rowling comparisons. I never would have made the connection here, except of the mentions of HP.
Wow. The writing. It burns, it burns.
Atropa - May 14, 2008 9:00:44 am PDT #5632 of 10000
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.
I have read all three Twilight novels. They're like binging on really trashy junk food. You'll hate yourself later AND feel kind of oogy, but you just can't seem to stop. Mind you, if I had read these when I was 14, I might have been all OMG EDWARD IS THE PERFECT BOY!!1! Or maybe not, considering I had already read Dracula, everything Stephan King had ever written, and had a knee-jerk aversion to any book that could possibly be labeled as a romance.
I'm still going to go see the damn movie when it comes out. After it hits the cheap second-run theatre. Because sparkly vampires and teen angst are comedy gold.
Miracleman - May 14, 2008 9:02:16 am PDT #5633 of 10000
No, I don't think I will - me, quoting Captain Steve Rogers, to all of 2020
They didn't really talk about the Twilight series much, though they did mention the Rowling comparisons.
They also mentioned the hordes of squealing pre-teen/teen fangirls and interviewed some of them.
The ones they picked were some of the most inarticulate Jello-headed bimbettes ever.
"I, like, like Edward because he's like...a vampire but not, you know, like, all vampire-like. And the love is so...love-ish and junk. It's AWESOME!"