OMG, I am lusting after Fergie's outfit. (Although, really, where would I wear skintight black rubber pants?) She looked amazing (and I am normally not a fan). She can really sing so it's sad that I mostly find her a little bit tragic.

Yeah, Fergie really can sing! Who'da thunk? And Heart! Oh, I love Heart. Awesome early girl!rockers.

OMG, I am lusting after Fergie's outfit. (Although, really, where would I wear skintight black rubber pants?)

Oh, I don't know. Madison, WI, maybe late June?

Don't I wish, brenda.

So, Annie Lennox totally made me teary. And then she schooled these AI whipersnappers in the art of singing. DIVA!

Jimmy Kimmel talking about Simon's nipples = awkward. This is a family show, y'all.

Someone was soooo off in that opening to Seasons of Love. And it continues. Dang, it's painful.

You know, at the beginning of the show I was like, "I don't want to see Snoop Dogg. I want to see someone I don't get to see, like Stevie Nicks. A motherfucking DIVA that is repeatedly pillaged by the pretend ones on this show." And fucking HEART! Awse. And Annie Lennox! If only Freddie Mercury were still alive.

Was Brooke the only one not to get a mini-solo there? Awwww. Who the hell did she piss off?

I figured something out about Brooke. She's the mirror of Dorian Gray Annie Lennox. She ages while Annie Lennox stays fabulous.

The high of the SYTYCD kids is finally wearing off and I am remembering just how intensely i hated Idol Gives Back last year and how much I was not at all looking forward to it this season. I think it really sank in when fucking Daughtry showed up on the screen in his grey skull cap and long sleeved t-shirt in Uganda. Where it's elevnty million degrees. Tool.

And Mimi picked the most boring song ever to sing. And their taking this crapfest over by how many minutes? And their making the kids close with Shout to the Lord? What? I object, Idol. In the strongest manner.

ETA: No wonder the kids voices were all screwed last night. Poor noodles! They had them screaming nu-age gospel crap over the world's most useless choir. (And why were the SYTYCD kids on stage exactly?) Yeah, thanks for reminding me why IGB is so atrocious.

So, it's *almost* done. I fast forwarded through a lot of it, but what is amiss here that the Super Bowl of television could get only one A-lister to appear live, maybe one major music artist, the cast of Comic Relief, and one major sponsor that's not already a producer or sponsor of the show (and at that, a sponsor who is already dedicated to African relief?). I mean, where's George Clooney, he's got a movie to promote. Madonna and/or Justin Timberlake? It felt so oddly mid-level talent for such a high-profile show. I would be surprised if the show raised as much as last year. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing Heart, but it's not like they're ungettable.

Eh, it was that way last year, too. They didn't have any great shakes performers. And yeah, Madge did a taped thing, but this year they had taped segments from Bono, Brad Pitt (who they got to come live, too).

I actually think that for Idol's target audience, they had bigger performing "names" this year. I'd never heard Miley Cyrus sing a note before tonight. And frankly, I don't ever need to hear it again. Let's just say it reaffirms - not that I needed it - my joy at not having tween children. And what was with her dancers? She's too good for the SYTYCD kids? Please. They crap better pas de deux than the Cyrus dancers tonight. But I digress. Point being that Miley Cyrus is the perfect star for all the D'Archie fans. And they got Mimi to come and close the show which, say what you will about her and her dog whistle seven million octave range, she has the number one song in the country right now. And Carrie's a huge star. I think they did just as well with pulling celebs this year as last. And the show sucked just as much, too. Full on exemption for the dancers and for Sheila E. who broke her drum kit she was so enthused.