I figured something out about Brooke. She's the mirror of Dorian Gray Annie Lennox. She ages while Annie Lennox stays fabulous.

The high of the SYTYCD kids is finally wearing off and I am remembering just how intensely i hated Idol Gives Back last year and how much I was not at all looking forward to it this season. I think it really sank in when fucking Daughtry showed up on the screen in his grey skull cap and long sleeved t-shirt in Uganda. Where it's elevnty million degrees. Tool.

And Mimi picked the most boring song ever to sing. And their taking this crapfest over by how many minutes? And their making the kids close with Shout to the Lord? What? I object, Idol. In the strongest manner.

ETA: No wonder the kids voices were all screwed last night. Poor noodles! They had them screaming nu-age gospel crap over the world's most useless choir. (And why were the SYTYCD kids on stage exactly?) Yeah, thanks for reminding me why IGB is so atrocious.

So, it's *almost* done. I fast forwarded through a lot of it, but what is amiss here that the Super Bowl of television could get only one A-lister to appear live, maybe one major music artist, the cast of Comic Relief, and one major sponsor that's not already a producer or sponsor of the show (and at that, a sponsor who is already dedicated to African relief?). I mean, where's George Clooney, he's got a movie to promote. Madonna and/or Justin Timberlake? It felt so oddly mid-level talent for such a high-profile show. I would be surprised if the show raised as much as last year. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing Heart, but it's not like they're ungettable.

Eh, it was that way last year, too. They didn't have any great shakes performers. And yeah, Madge did a taped thing, but this year they had taped segments from Bono, Brad Pitt (who they got to come live, too).

I actually think that for Idol's target audience, they had bigger performing "names" this year. I'd never heard Miley Cyrus sing a note before tonight. And frankly, I don't ever need to hear it again. Let's just say it reaffirms - not that I needed it - my joy at not having tween children. And what was with her dancers? She's too good for the SYTYCD kids? Please. They crap better pas de deux than the Cyrus dancers tonight. But I digress. Point being that Miley Cyrus is the perfect star for all the D'Archie fans. And they got Mimi to come and close the show which, say what you will about her and her dog whistle seven million octave range, she has the number one song in the country right now. And Carrie's a huge star. I think they did just as well with pulling celebs this year as last. And the show sucked just as much, too. Full on exemption for the dancers and for Sheila E. who broke her drum kit she was so enthused.

Top Chef: Are you kidding me? I had an opportunity to buy tix to that Meals on Wheels dinner. Muy expensive, so I didn't even consider, but if I'd known I might have found a way.

TC: Oh, that would've been lovely. I so want Spike to go home. But I don't think I'll get that lucky.

TC: So close! But Zoi needed to go soon too.

Yeah, happy with who got sent home - not as happy as I would have been if stupid fucking stupid hat Spike had gone - but still happy.

Also, any goodwill Dale engendered the last couple of weeks just went bye bye. You fucking sliced vegatables, dude - maybe the winner of the trip to Italy "only" cooked bacon, but she cooked bacon in a way that fucking Ming Tsai had never thought of! Stop being such a whiny little bitch. If anybody has a right to be pissed, it's the one who cooked the shrimp that seemed to be the central ingredient, but she's not throwing a monster hissy fit, douchebag. (and I'm using pronouns because I can't keep the women straight on this show, for some reason, apart from, ahem, Zoi).

Why are so many of these chefs so unpleasant? I can't remember past seasons of Top Chef with so many tools and douchebags. Zoi was a pain in the ass and I'm not sad at all that she went tonight. But that still leaves us with Spike, Dale, and I'm sorry, Zoi's partner is no pearl. I'd rather be talking about their cooking. Save all the drama for The Real World.

I can't remember past seasons of Top Chef with so many tools and douchebags.

I see you have repressed any memory of Season 2. I envy you that.