Face Off: the losing Bride of Frankenstein was so very Scorpius, I can't believe no one mentioned it.

There is something really odd about Cat's eye makeup tonight. Every time she blinks I think she's got a spare set of eyes somehow.

Didn't love Hayley's solo, but the other three were delightful.

And I still can't stand Jenna Elfman.

Fun jive, and Mary getting all technical is always good times.

Also, Paul throwing down with Comfort was amazing.

That was great! She should choreograph more.

Would've liked a little more rumba in that rumba.

Mark! Dancing his own choreography! Eeeee I am excited!

Ah, that was awesome.

Ooh, Twitch and Jasmine should be fun.

Oh, man, Travis and Amy, so good.

Wow. Someone please take the black eye shadow and the kohl pencil away from Cat Deeley. Honey, no.

Top 8 Group Dance/Free for All Freestyle/More to the Ocean/Brick and Mortar – It had a Broadway-esque feel right off the bat with the costuming and the staging, so maybe Spencer Liff? No, but definitely not him once they start dancing. The movement is way too stylized. With all the thrusting and twisting and . . . twerking. This feels like Mia, although she hasn’t done a group dance in a million years. It’s very reminiscent of the piece she set on the group when Mark played the twisted ringmaster. Very Night Circus. Tucker is no Mark, but he’s doing his pasty best to hold it down. And yep, Fik Shun is just hanging off the side of shit rather than dancing, so now I’m sure it’s Mia. She never quite knows what to do with the hip hop boys who don’t have secret training like Joshua. Just hangs them off of boxes like here or door frames like with Twitch. Still I enjoyed it. And yep, it was in fact Mia. Mama’s bag of tricks is showing.

Dear god, what is cat wearing? Sequined, bandeau top, skinny leg drop crotch jumpsuit? Dammit to hell, wardrobe hos. Back on the crack pipe.

Cat’s hair looks like she dunked her head in Crisco and it’s less than flattering. Discuss

Is that Jenna Elfman? Does she dance? Hmmm, I’m reserving judgment. At least she looks excited to be here. And ahhh, dance background. Sweet . . . look at her serving in those photos. You go, girlfriend.

Dance Ins: Aaron is so sexy. Jenna looks like an aging Reno showgirl. Jasmine is fierce. Everyone else is just there.

Bottom 4

Fik Shun

Jenna

Tucker

Hayley

The girls are not a surprise. The boys . . . it was just tough. All four are so strong. Fik Shun being there makes sense. He’s the most limited of all the guys left. Tucker is not as charismatic as Aaron or Paul, so I guess that’s about right.

Solos

Fik Shun/If You Crump Stand Up/edT – Murder. Call the Po-lice. That was so fun, so joyous, so creative and full of life and energy and personality. He is a gifted popper and he’s just as adorable as all get out. Loved that solo. That’s how you do it.

Hayley/Skin and Bones/David J. Roach – I hate the costume. Let’s just get that out of the way. She’s got gorgeous turn out in those plies and a very, very pretty fifth position there at the end so we can see she’s a solid technical dancer. But the whole thing just felt like very standard contempo girl fare. I felt like I was watching one of the Abby Lee Dance Company’s girls on Dance Moms. Eh. I wasn’t in love with it.

Jenna/Greyhound/Swedish House Mafia – She really tried. She tried to work the skirt. She was giving face and attitude. It’s just tough for ballroom kids. I wasn’t feeling it. And there’s something very old fashioned about her, and not in a good, Ann Margaret kind of way (although there is some of that, too) but in a bad, Reno showgirl way. Again, I wasn’t in love with it.

Tucker/Beautiful Child/Rufus Wainwright – Why was he dressed like he was going to work at the Gap? Um, no. He is a really gorgeous dancer. So pure. I thought the routine was way too trick heavy, but got to give the people what they want, right? And the technique on this one is really just flawless. Despite the everything but the kitchen sink nature, I liked it.

For the girls, I think it’s a TKO for Hayley. Neither one was great, but Hayley did a little bit more out there and Jenna has been in the bottom seems like every week. For the guys, it all comes down to a matter of what the judges are in the mood for. I’m betting Nigel doesn’t want to give up on Fik Shun’s growth story, so he stays.

Aaron and Chelsie/Jive/Great Balls of Fire/Million Dollar Quartet (Broadway Cast Recording – Wow. They want to make it tough on our tall drink of water. Jive is a lot of quick action and he is lanky. This could be dicey. Chelsie is a really strong partner, though. Glad to see her back from DwtS. She’s had a lot of experience choreographing for (continued...)

( continues...) non-pro partners on the show, so that should be a leg up. Needless to say, I don’t care about the dead friend. Shut up and dance. So, I thought there were lots of missed hand connections in that piece. The side by side work looked amazing. Aaron’s flicks and kicks were crisp and high but the partnered work was lacking. Yay, Mary agrees with me. Now I feel like a ballroom expert. That was a really hard routine and he didn’t nail it. Money dancer. I like that, Jenna Elfman. I also like that she touted herself as one. No false modesty on that one. I do think Aaron will make the finals, but this dance was kind of a mess.

Fik Shun and Alison/Contemporary/Skinny Love/Birdy – Wow. Alison is really blonde. Huh. I don’t think I like it. I don’t know much about her work as a choreographer, but she’s a gorgeous dancer and she always does well with hip hop kids dating all the way back to her season with Ivan, so I’ve got high hopes for this pairing. Oh, dear. Alison’s piece is already earnest claptrap. We accept your relationship with Twitch, baby. Matter of fact, we are all about it. It’s OK. Are those Utah people giving you a hard time? Well, fuck ‘em. Now shut up and dance. So, I watched it twice and I didn’t love it. The first half of the dance was just forklift Fik Shun. He picked her up, then she danced and he walked to the next place where he would pick her up. And the lift where he picked her up by the ankles almost didn’t go up. It was touch and go. But right after that, they actually started dancing and he was quite lovely. He put me in the mind of Leroy from fame. There was power but not a lot of finesse. I appreciated the quality of grounded movement he brought to the second half of the dance and that was much better, but the toe point wasn’t there and the stretch through the feet wasn’t there. The judges felt it too and are trying to be really kind and also not talking to him so much. I just . . . again, it wasn’t great. That’s two in a row that were letdowns.

Tucker and Courtney/Jazz/Clarity/Zedd feat. Foxes – Huh. I never would’ve pegged Courtney for a choreographer. This should be really interesting. And let me get this straight, Aaron, who is a tapper, got Jive and Fik Shun, who is a hip hop kid, got contemporary but Tucker, who is a contemporary dancer, gets jazz? That’s some bullshit. Nobody should have been given anything even close to their styles this week. If they are going to ask one to stretch, then they need to ask all to stretch. Awww, his dad loves his live gay son. That’s sweet. Now, shut up and dance. Well, that just goes to show that every former contestant can’t be Peanut. That was awful choreography. Awful, awful, not even competition kid bad but awful, HS dance team bad, but not like the teams that go to the UDA National Dance Team Championships at the Milk House at Walt Disney World Resorts in Orlando, Florida but bad like the HS dance team at the Division III school that doesn’t even make the regional championships. Tucker is capable of so much more as a dancer. So is Courtney, for that matter. There was one decent turn sequence in there and all the rest was just a hot, hot mess. And the lifts were laughable trashy crap. The entrances were labored or awkward; there was not flow out of them into the next movement and the final lift looked like they just forgot the dance or forgot that the music was going to go on. Everybody was already clapping, thinking it was over. I don’t even know how to judge Tucker’s performance. I suppose he did fine with what he was given. But ugh. Never let her choreograph ever again, please. Well, I’m sad she has MS. That’s terrible. She’s still a crap choreographer.

Paul and Comfort/Hip Hop/Dum Dum/Tedashii feat. Lecrae - And then Paul gets hip hop. So much bullshit that Tucker got Jazz. I cannot. I’m sorry, y’all. I’m gonna let it go eventually but not now. This is some bullshit! OK, on a happy note, I’m excited to see Comfort’s choreography. I hope she brings the real, raw hip hop. No storyline. Bless you, Comfort. What? What did I just (continued...)