( continues...) non-pro partners on the show, so that should be a leg up. Needless to say, I don’t care about the dead friend. Shut up and dance. So, I thought there were lots of missed hand connections in that piece. The side by side work looked amazing. Aaron’s flicks and kicks were crisp and high but the partnered work was lacking. Yay, Mary agrees with me. Now I feel like a ballroom expert. That was a really hard routine and he didn’t nail it. Money dancer. I like that, Jenna Elfman. I also like that she touted herself as one. No false modesty on that one. I do think Aaron will make the finals, but this dance was kind of a mess.

Fik Shun and Alison/Contemporary/Skinny Love/Birdy – Wow. Alison is really blonde. Huh. I don’t think I like it. I don’t know much about her work as a choreographer, but she’s a gorgeous dancer and she always does well with hip hop kids dating all the way back to her season with Ivan, so I’ve got high hopes for this pairing. Oh, dear. Alison’s piece is already earnest claptrap. We accept your relationship with Twitch, baby. Matter of fact, we are all about it. It’s OK. Are those Utah people giving you a hard time? Well, fuck ‘em. Now shut up and dance. So, I watched it twice and I didn’t love it. The first half of the dance was just forklift Fik Shun. He picked her up, then she danced and he walked to the next place where he would pick her up. And the lift where he picked her up by the ankles almost didn’t go up. It was touch and go. But right after that, they actually started dancing and he was quite lovely. He put me in the mind of Leroy from fame. There was power but not a lot of finesse. I appreciated the quality of grounded movement he brought to the second half of the dance and that was much better, but the toe point wasn’t there and the stretch through the feet wasn’t there. The judges felt it too and are trying to be really kind and also not talking to him so much. I just . . . again, it wasn’t great. That’s two in a row that were letdowns.

Tucker and Courtney/Jazz/Clarity/Zedd feat. Foxes – Huh. I never would’ve pegged Courtney for a choreographer. This should be really interesting. And let me get this straight, Aaron, who is a tapper, got Jive and Fik Shun, who is a hip hop kid, got contemporary but Tucker, who is a contemporary dancer, gets jazz? That’s some bullshit. Nobody should have been given anything even close to their styles this week. If they are going to ask one to stretch, then they need to ask all to stretch. Awww, his dad loves his live gay son. That’s sweet. Now, shut up and dance. Well, that just goes to show that every former contestant can’t be Peanut. That was awful choreography. Awful, awful, not even competition kid bad but awful, HS dance team bad, but not like the teams that go to the UDA National Dance Team Championships at the Milk House at Walt Disney World Resorts in Orlando, Florida but bad like the HS dance team at the Division III school that doesn’t even make the regional championships. Tucker is capable of so much more as a dancer. So is Courtney, for that matter. There was one decent turn sequence in there and all the rest was just a hot, hot mess. And the lifts were laughable trashy crap. The entrances were labored or awkward; there was not flow out of them into the next movement and the final lift looked like they just forgot the dance or forgot that the music was going to go on. Everybody was already clapping, thinking it was over. I don’t even know how to judge Tucker’s performance. I suppose he did fine with what he was given. But ugh. Never let her choreograph ever again, please. Well, I’m sad she has MS. That’s terrible. She’s still a crap choreographer.

Paul and Comfort/Hip Hop/Dum Dum/Tedashii feat. Lecrae - And then Paul gets hip hop. So much bullshit that Tucker got Jazz. I cannot. I’m sorry, y’all. I’m gonna let it go eventually but not now. This is some bullshit! OK, on a happy note, I’m excited to see Comfort’s choreography. I hope she brings the real, raw hip hop. No storyline. Bless you, Comfort. What? What did I just (continued...)

( continues...) see on my TV screen? Holy shit. Paul just smashed that hip hop. That routine was everything. Eeeevvveeerrryyythhhinnnggg. Best hip hop by a non-hip hop boy dancer ever on this show and it’s not even close. I had to go back and watch it twice and I still could not believe what I was seeing. That little Armenian kid brought swag for days. He was in the pocket, under the pocket, all around the pocket. That pocket don’t even know what hit it. He was hitting freezes and throwing back handsprings and juking with the shoulders doing a little lean wit’ it, rock wit’ it. Shut the fuck up. I am blown away. Winner, winner. The judges were not even as effusive as they needed to be. Paul for the motherfuckin’ win. Oh, and Comfort should choreograph all hip hop on this show from this day forward. For real, though.

Hayley and Dmitri/Rumba/Meant/Elizaveta – Yay! I generally really enjoy Dmitri’s choreography and Rumba should suit Hayley really well because she’s got lovely lines. Those DwtS kids really know how to put together dynamic routines with non-ballroom dancers. This was a gorgeous piece and Dmitri is killer. Love that he’s still rockin’ the open shirt. Hayley’s legs in this piece were great. She had just the right tension and then give. The hips were good, the posture was good, lifts good. I didn’t buy the whole scorned lover thing she was selling and the dance was oddly devoid of heat or sexual chemistry which is not great for a Rumba, but I just think maybe it’s because she’s kind of an immature dancer. From a technical standpoint, I thought it was quite good. It’s always going to be easier for the female contestants to dance ballroom with an All star because so much of ballroom depends on a strong lead. She did well with this piece. Agree with Jenna that you can always see Hayley thinking. She didn’t get lost in this dance and that kept her from connecting completely with Dmitri.

Jenna and Mark/Jazz/I Am the Best/2NE1 - Mark from Hawai’i. Oh my word! Lucky, lucky girl. OK, kind of in heaven right now. I don’t even care what he choreographs, I just want to look at him. I lie. I totally do want to see his choreography. He’s actually a pretty amazing choreographer. You Tube his stuff right now! But also, look at him. He’s just so pretty, y’all. Ha! That rehearsal footage was hilarious. Jenna looked so scared. She just did not know how to deal with him. I think he can pull something interesting out of her. Let’s see. I frikkin’ loved it. That was ridiculous insane. It was all very GaGa and very just wow. I want to watch that all the time. As I suspected, he went somewhere with that girl. She turned it up and turned it out. When they rolled that pillow out into a long red tongue and then turned that tongue into a catwalk, I MEAN. BAM, bitches. Just take it all. There wasn’t any part I didn’t love. And unlike Hayley, Jenna totally got into the whole vibe here. She just owned that part and that stage and yes I watched Mark more but that’s just because I would drink that man’s bathwater. Yep, wanna watch it all the time. In fact, I may just watch it all the time. Wake up, eat cornflakes, watch Mark . . . check my email, watch Mark . . . have lunch, nap, wake up, watch Mark. I was all about it.

Jasmine and Twitch/Hip Hop/The Power/District 78 feat. Cheesa - I think Twitch may be the only All Star tall enough to partner her. I give props to the show for not pairing her with Cyrus. I guess they let that go once they found out that she didn’t need an angle other than her own fabulousity. Hmmm, I didn’t like it. I don’t feel the movement sat very well on her. I thought she was sloppy and a lot of her moves looked unfinished. She was trying to give it, but I don’t think the style was a match with her. I wanted more hard form her, more hit. I do think she should be in the finale, but that was not one of my favorites, especially after Paul, the hip hop world destroyer. It was just OK. I won’t remember it.

Amy and Travis/Contemporary/Wicked Game/James Vincent McMorrow – Peanut!! And he will dance. (continued...)

( continues...) Oh, joy! I was a little nervous when this dance started because the first lift was kinda suspect, but as soon as Peanut pulled off that pirouette sequence down to the floor it was on and cracking. The lift where she went up into a backbend on top of his knees? Gorgeous. The next sequence where he lifts her up by the neck and she twists into a backbend and then they flip and she’s holding him by the neck? Gorgeous. The part where she does the flexed foot kick and then falls back into him and he pushes her abdomen down and then grabs her feet and pulls her up into a shoulder stand? Gorgeous. The triple twist leap into the lift? Gorgeous. The hold with her on his shoulders then she swooped down to the floor? Gorgeous. Triple turn in synch down to the floor for her and into a barrel turn for him? Thank god, gorgeous. Mary mentioned the pull up from the floor into his arms which was what? Gorgeous. Just so, so much. Peanut is an amazing dancer and Amy is just a wonder. Work! And yet? I still would’ve given Mark the pimp slot. He brought something more new than this. But that may just be my Mark goggles talking.

Going Home

It’s so hard now, kittens. These kids are chock full o’ talent. If it were just based on tonight, I’d send Hayley and Fik Shun home. If it’s cumulative, I’d send Jenna and Tucker to the showers. Let’s see what these bitches do. Huh. They took the cumulative route. Wow. Cruel Summer. To send Jenna home after that routine tonight? I guess karma is a bitch after Mackenzie went home last week after that gorgeous routine with Jakob. . I have to say that I’m kind of OK with Tucker going home tonight given that he had a built in advantage dancing in a style so adjacent to his own and failed to overcome the bad choreo and impress. And I think Hayley and Fik Shun will go home next week anyway, leaving us with a top 4 of Paul, Aaron, Amy and Jasmine. That’s good stuff.

ETA: Only 4 posts. Whoo! And now, to read what other lovely Buffistas have to say.

I love all the Mark love. Awww. My people, my people. And he turned it out and looked good going. He's so great!

Also, I read that Alan was hurt tonight, something with his shoulder - torn muscle maybe. Anyway, that's why he wasn't in the group routine (I didn't even notice that!) and could explain why there were so many missed connections in the closed hold work in that Jive. Strange that neither the judges nor Cat mentioned anything about it.

They choose to mention what they want to mention. This is a long standing pet peeve of mine.

Mark is just the man. He rocks my world. I was so happy to see him tonight. He is less buff than when I saw him dancing with Gaga last. I actually think that is a good thing. I thought he was too much in the upper body and I'm glad he toned it down some.

I thought it was awesome he got choked up.

It’s always going to be easier for the female contestants to dance ballroom with an All star because so much of ballroom depends on a strong lead.

Oh, that's so interesting. As a non-dancer watching, I wouldn't have thought of it, but of course I have done partner dancing with someone who knows how and it did make me feel like I could dance!

TC:M So when there's no quickfire Sang just wins overall, eh? That beef and broccoli did sound wonderful.

I would like a deconstructed s'more now.

I don't understand Kate's dress at all. And I hate Karen's dye.

OTOH, I'm kind of surprised how much I like Jeremy's. I didn't think I would when he talked about the design but seeing it on the runway - it's really beautiful.

OMG "smushed frog" made me LOL. And then Heidi with the "Oh Em Gee" Ha!

I don't care for Alexandria's look at all but what I really hate is the eye makeup.

Was that maybe a little orchestrated? Perhaps?

I think so. I sort of hate that they did that, either way.