Kat, you know we will return to imperious cats and lovely yellow rooms in the future. But I'm super happy to hear your thoughts on Miss Nigel 2013 and hope you give us more! I seriously read it out loud to bob bob so we can intelligently evaluate what we saw.

Sebastian Serra – Puerto Rico. Awwww, yeah. What a gorgeous little ballet boy. My word, that first Russian split leap was everything. He’s incredibly dynamic. Although I will say that for me there’s something a little juvenile and unfinished about his work. The dynamic was shading into the frantic a little bit and I wish he’d dance through the music more. It was a little bit choppy. I don’t know much about the Orlando Ballet, but I doubt he’s a principal with the company. That said, he’s got a little something something. And no, he can’t krump, but he was a good sport about it. He has solid fundamentals. Bad fashion but solid fundamentals. Also, JTF would really like to do him, so that’s already a little gold star in my book.

Montage-o-rama: Girl in green with very shaky turns, nope. Girl in blue bra, I’d like to see more of her in Vegas. Hot latin ballroom couple is hot. Cute black tapper is cute.

Mischa and Maria – More Russians. Yesssssss. When will they catch moose and squirrel? I love their accents. Adorable. Shut it down, from the first pose. That’s what they did. Yes. These two were giving me life. I want the dress, the belt, the hair, the everything of Maria. And Mischa is just . . . mmmph. Damn. So sharp. All the little head snaps, just stop it. Look at the feet and the hands on these two. Dancing all the way through the pinkies. I can’t even. These two are amazing. They even had the b-boys in the audience hooting and hollering, what? I love how much those little dancers in the audience love seeing good dancers auditioning!

Trench coat Cat is sooo sparkly.

Contemporary Native American hoop dance? Dancing ballet en pointe in a chicken costume. Male en pointe dancing female role? Why? Joke auditions, I rebuke you.

Emilio/Milli – I believe it’s Milli as in Lil Wayne/A Milli, not Thoroughly Modern, but the fact that the Broadway show was JTF’s reference point has just endeared him to me even more. Anyway, this kid was really kind of spectacular. And luckily not at all Chbeeb-like. I was worried about that because he seriously looks like a mini-Chbeeb, but he’s a much different kind of popper, all quick hits and isolations where Chbeeb was all about the waves. I enjoyed him. I’m glad that the judges put him through to choreo because he needs to show and prove that he can do other styles and pick up quickly, but I would not be averse to seeing him again in Vegas.

McKinsey – She’s very pretty, isn’t she? Shame that she doesn’t know the difference between subject and object pronouns. Gorgeous dancer. I guess when you move like that, you can say pronouns schmonouns. This girl’s core is phenomenal. And she’s got turn out of the gods. It’s kind of sick. And she’s very musical. I thought her whole performance was quite lovely. She should do well if she can work it out on some hip hop, provided they get some choreographers capable of turning out decent hip hop routines this season which is not at all a given.

Chroeo Round – Milli-beeb was not bad at all. I’m not surprised they put him through. Slick was struggling. I’m glad that they resisted the urge to put him through. I’m also glad that he showed such grace in going home. I wanted to see that girl with all the hair. She was cute as a button.

Mischa and Maria

I loved them, but are we really supposed to believe they are 23 and 25?

Austin

I love how when Ryan does the whole “Are you ready?” countdown thing on AI, when the contestants start running into the auditorium he stands in the same spot and lets the singers part around him like the Red Sea whereas Cat does the same schtick and then breaks out because she knows that those dancers will run her ass over in their zeal to get into the auditions. They don’t play.

Sweet mother of pearl, what is Mary wearing? My eyes. Dear merciful Martha Graham, my eyes.

Still trying to figure out what Minnie Driver is doing on the panel.

Anthony/J-Freeze – Adorable baby. I am dead from all the cute. He already is a star. No doubt. And four. He’s four! J-Freeze forever!! Awwwwww. His parents seriously need to put him in dance lessons, though, because I’ve seen four year olds that would smoke him like a ham.

Haley Herbert – She had a beautiful audition and there was nothing overly sexual about any of it. I hate how they presented her in her pre-dance package. She has really solid technique. You can tell she’s been well trained. The audition piece was your typical hair flinging, Elite Senior Miss dance convention mish mash but there were just enough moments in there to let you know that with decent choreography, she could probably put in work. I’d have been with Nigel on putting her through to choreo, but everybody knew that wasn’t really what was going to happen. If she moves much further, I hope the show lays off the “I’m too sexy” storyline because it really doesn’t fit at all. So odd.

Donovan Gibbs – I’m anti sob story, but I admit that dance dads supporting their dance sons always get to me a little because it’s an uphill battle in this society for boys in dance, especially for black kids. So yay, dance dads and sons! Oh, but I still don’t care about all the lost your house had to take a bano Maria in the dance studio sink back story. Luckily, Donovan can break it the hell on down, though, so good on you parents for that one. I loved this kid. His whole LXD style, lyrical b-boy thing was a giant yes for me. We want more. We want more. Also, dad is fire. Holy moly. They should both go to Vegas.

Montage-ma-goria: Sweater ballerina, lovely. Natural hair contempo girl, captivating. Blond ponytail, dime a dozen. See also, next blond ponytail girl (in skirt this time).

I loved them, but are we really supposed to believe they are 23 and 25?

In Russian years. I suspect you have to add 7-10 to calculate what that would be in American years.

Who sold Mary the curly yaki weave? They should get their cosmetology license revoked. Cheap shot on the Honey Boo Boo thing, all the same.

Dannon O’Brien- The show totally managed to fake me out with that intro. I thought this kid was a joke audition. He was not terrible. He has some skill. Not nearly good enough to make this show, but I was pleasantly surprised by some of his lines and extensions. He had good flow and decent power in his leaps. I cannot see him doing anything other than contemporary and that includes harder edged jazz pieces, ballroom, hip hop. But for a kid who I thought was just going to be a weirdo bit of ridiculous fluff, he surprised. I’m exhausted by him already, though.

Shane Garcia – Another first! They finally got me with a sob story. I was in tears by the end of this audition, and that’s even after the train wreck that was having Lazaro and his stutter on AI this past season. This kid is a delight and his story truly is inspirational. I mean, he started dancing to speak freely through his body; that’s profound. And he’s phenomenal. He’s really mesmerizing to watch. I love that he kept his clothes on and yet still delivered on all the bone breaking moves. I love that he chose such a delicate piece of music to dance to. I loved every single thing about that audition. I’m fully on board with the judges sending him to choreo and with his attitude about that. I hope he can bring it.

Danielle Bustillos – Latinos are representing this episode. Vamos. Echa pa’lante. Unfortunately for this little one, her back story is better than her dancing. Mary is right that she needs a lot of work. Right now, she’s not much better than advanced intermediate level dancing. Very wobbly, not great dance vocabulary and as noted, the transitions were hinky. I will be quite surprised if she makes it past the choreo round.

ha! damn.

His parents seriously need to put him in dance lessons, though, because I’ve seen four year olds that would smoke him like a ham

I was thinking the SAME thing. That child has spunk and all, now let's bring the training.

Nick – Those shorts left so little to the imagination. I was uncomfortable. Oh, I am in love. Nick is totally my new dance boyfriend. When he did that handstand and then down to the floor? Bliss. My only gripe is that he has serious unintended stank face when he dances. One of his teachers should’ve told him about that. It’s seriously distracting, because otherwise he is just a creature of pure win. So much power and grace and the body is amazing. Miss Debbie Allen is going to love him. Loooove him. Oh, during the post dance feedback, I saw that the stank face is just his normal standing around face. Well, that’s sad for him.

Montage-licious: Blonde hip hop girl, well . . . Mary seemed to like you, hip hop expert that she is. Wait a minute, that’s Utah from last year. Oh, she’s raw. Glad to see her back. Bucket hat hip hop kid, you kind of remind me of Justin Timberlake. He’s a great hip hop dancer for a boy band singer. It seems the same could be said about you. Plaid shirt hip hop kid, you seem like the best of this bunch.

Hampton Williams/Exorcist and Darlesha(?) – Oh, I am so glad he came back, kittens. This kid is just everything and he was so humble in Vegas when he washed out. I hope he’s been in class every day of the past year getting ready for the comeback because I want to see him in my top 20. Cute kiddie. Once they all started dancing, I couldn’t even take notes. The Exorcist family wins at everything. Everything.

Choreo round: Daniella is not good enough. Sad that they put her through. She will go home early. Shane shocked me. He was good. Vegas, baby. Hell, yeah. And Cat loves him already. Girl has got good taste.

Why is this the only show we are getting this week? Ewww.

I love that he chose such a delicate piece of music to dance to.

That was super smart on Shane's part. People who really get that the music choice is a huge part of the audition really have a leg up.

Nick is definitely my new favorite, from the actual dancing to the lying on the floor in the lobby.

The Exorcist family wins at everything. Everything.

OMGYES.

Minnie Driver is useless.

Nick – Those shorts left so little to the imagination. I was uncomfortable. Oh, I am in love. Nick is totally my new dance boyfriend. When he did that handstand and then down to the floor? Bliss. My only gripe is that he has serious unintended stank face when he dances. One of his teachers should’ve told him about that. It’s seriously distracting, because otherwise he is just a creature of pure win. So much power and grace and the body is amazing. Miss Debbie Allen is going to love him. Loooove him. Oh, during the post dance feedback, I saw that the stank face is just his normal standing around face. Well, that’s sad for him.

Um, this man is so FOINE. I have the vapors.