Thank you for all the ~ma, folks. It worked. I did not get upset or stressed during the meeting. It was mostly my boss checking in on me because of various things that happened last week which undermined any confidence I had in my work. My boss reassured me that I'm doing a good job, and that she is going to try and be around to be a manager more often. (For the past six months, she has Not Been Here, because she's been in meetings all day, every day. There hasn't been a lot of managerial support, feedback, or information lately.)

We talked about some training and classes I might want to look into, and I said that I am planning on talking to my doctor about ways to deal with stress, because spending most of a week on the verge of a panic attack was not something I wanted to repeat.

Which leads me to a kinda-odd question: what do people do when they're in the middle of deadlines at work and feel overwhelmed enough to snap? I really did spend most of last week trying to fend off panic attacks, and I want to figure out how to not have it happen again.

Jilli, I make sure to (a) take lunch and (b) do something soothing over lunch--get a pedicure, go to barnes and noble and read a hardback for an hour, sit in the sunshine, whatever (clearly, these may not be your choices of "soothing"). Alternately, have plans that you can look forward to after work that are soothing/relaxing/take your mind off work ("OK, if I can just get to Tuesday night, I have a massage scheduled!" Or whatever). Or reward yourself with some shopping?

Jilli, the absolutely most effective thing for me is Ativan. I realize that's not an optimal solution for a lot of people (and in fact I don't use it that much), but it cuts right through that loop and lets me focus in on what's necessary.

My other coping strategy is working out in the middle of the day, even if I have to get to work an hour earlier in order to get everything in a place to allow me to leave for an hour.

Jilli, the absolutely most effective thing for me is Ativan. I realize that's not an optimal solution for a lot of people (and in fact I don't use it that much), but it cuts right through that loop and lets me focus in on what's necessary.

That's actually what I'm going to to talk to my doc about. Because when I hit the near-panic stage, there doesn't seem to be anything that will get me out of that loop.

I like Xanax. But I rarely have it, so I am extremely lucky to have a couch in my reading area. During plan, I turn the light off, tape a piece of paper over the window in the door, take off my shoes and lay down for 15 minutes. I don't do it very often, but when I do, it helps.

But mostly I just sublimate until I snap and become an uberbitch. I'm not the poster girl for Good Mental Health.

that might be the single biggest understatement I have EVER made, btw.

Jilli, I make sure to (a) take lunch and (b) do something soothing over lunch--get a pedicure, go to barnes and noble and read a hardback for an hour, sit in the sunshine, whatever (clearly, these may not be your choices of "soothing").

Sadly, none of those were an option over last week, because we were in deadline crash mode. Plus, I don't drive and am trapped on a corporate campus in the middle of a suburban-ish area. So getting away for a little bit is kinda tricky.

But mostly I just sublimate until I snap and become an uberbitch. I'm not the poster girl for Good Mental Health.

If I could even just figure out how to become an uberbitch when I snap, that would be an improvement. But no, I become Hysterically Crying Woman, now with streaky eyeliner.

Plus, I don't drive and am trapped on a corporate campus in the middle of a suburban-ish area. So getting away for a little bit is kinda tricky.

You know where my office is. Just IM me with "ESCAPE!!!!!!!!! GARGH!!!" and I'll make you go look at the koi pond or something.

My way of dealing with overwhelmed by everything that has to be done now:

first I give into it for 15 to 30 minutes, run around like a chicken with my head cut off, gather stuff , rearrange stuff, complain about stuff, cry if need be.

then I work - in the order that things need to be done. and since an interruption kills me - no email, no phone, no talk. except at planned intervals.

by giving into the panic, I can keep from doing it again - because it would be redoing it. If this is a long period of stress - everymorning might start with the panic dance -

I am also a list person - long list ( about a week long) with the only dates being the absolute dates. just keep crossing things off.

also - food - crunchy stuff like carrots and crackers. soothing stuff like chocolate pudding and cream of wheat . stuff to drink without caffine. one good and good for you meal a day.

Oh! Something that my mom (and other therapists; well, my mom's not a therapist, just the Queen of PA's) have said that helps stave off a panic attack; lemon juice. Seriously. Keep a couple of those lemon packets with you, and when I feel a panic attacky feeling, suck one down.

Unless you're a lemon eating freak like me, the sour shock kind of makes the panic...stutter or soemthing, and you can redirect.