There's a billboard that is on the highway on the way back to my hometown advertising "THE LOOSEST SLOTS IN TOWN!" I know what it says, and I still read it wrong and do a double take every damn time.

This is my life!. As a dyslexic person, one of my greatest joys in life is that my form of the disorder seems to have a sense of humor.

Whenever I read signs like that wrongly, the outcome is really funny.

Dog help me with all the sweatshirts around here that say Virginia. When I'm tired, I see before me a sea of vaginas. It's hilarious.

This morning, I spent a couple of miles stuck behind a minivan with the license plate "URSLEPY" (the plate holder said Hypnosis for change).

I hadn't had coffee yet, so I may have been biased, but ireally, isn't that not such a good idea for a car? Plus kind of mean.

Especially with billboards. Because you're driving, and so not really taking time to actually read the thing, so your brain is filling in whatever would fit.

(For all values of you, feel free to substitute I)

I hadn't had coffee yet, so I may have been biased, but ireally, isn't that not such a good idea for a car? Plus not kind of mean.

My theory is the person isn't making much money at hypnosis, and is hoping to be rear-ended to collect the insurance money.

"URSLEPY" makes me think of the Bill Cosby bit about how he hypnotized his brother Russell once when they were kids.

"You are sleepy."
"Yes, I am."
"You will go into the bedroom and smack Dad in the face."
He did it, too! I heard, ::WHACK!:: "What the hell's wrong with you?!?"
And then he came in to get me...

Last night I saw the plate "LVMYSELF" and I'm not sure where he was going with that, but I was instantly earwormed with The DiVinyls. Cruel, cruel, but also I was looking at him funny.

Then again, he's a guy. Hardly news.

That's a lawsuit waiting to happen!

And cruel.

And speaking of sleepy. I am discouraged to find out that the makers of Rockstar Juiced, my drug of choice, was developed by Michael Savage's son...and that together they promote all sorts of ultra-conservative bunk.

Plus, somehow, what was an all juice-no artificial sweetners product last year suddenly has splenda in it.

Great. Now my politics are getting in the way of a good energy bump. It's hard out here for a do-gooder, yo.

It's hard out here for a do-gooder, yo.

It's especially hard for the do-gooder pimps....

I spent 9 weeks wondering what was sold at a place with a large sign on the roof reading "SPAS." Seriously.

Now, granted it was after 6 months living in a place where a good portion of the time, assuming I would have no idea what a sign referred to even if I could sound it out was perfectly reasonable. I guess I defaulted to that mode.

I did feel ever so stupid and then betrayed by my brain the day it clicked and I realized I did too know the word spas.

Night Shift! My favorite do-gooder pimp flick.

Edible paper.