No! That's horrible.

In less serious news:

Esposito Files for Divorce After Four Months of Marriage

Crash star Jennifer Esposito's four-month marriage to Wedding Crashers actor Bradley Cooper is over, according to US reports. The sexy actress has reportedly filed for divorce in Los Angeles County Superior Court, citing "irreconcilable differences" for the split. The couple wed in secret at the end of December after an 18-month courtship. A spokesman for the actress says, "Jennifer asks that you respect her privacy at this time." Cooper's representative tells Tmz.com the couple have been separated for "quite a while."

Dude. Write some gen!

Maybe later. When I am not wearing a coat and shivering at my desk. I swear, I'm like a 'huddling for warmth' fanfic cliché right now.

brenda -- Egad.

sumi -- When the star of Crash marries the star of Wedding Crashers, I guess a train wreck should be expected.

Bwah!

sumi -- When the star of Crash marries the star of Wedding Crashers, I guess a train wreck should be expected.

The thing that always gave me pause with that marriage were the reports (pretty widely confirmed, I thought) that Bradley Cooper had been dating Victor Garber.

I am tempted to order several pairs of shoes from Zappos with the intention of returning all but one or two. Is that morally wrong? It feels wrong.

I don't think that's wrong.

I've done that. It doesn't necessarily work out the way you think it will, but I don't think it's wrong.

I feel like I'm abusing Zappos' trust. This is like that honor code shit they pull at schools, isn't it?

They seem to fascilitate that kind of shopping (sorta like trying on shoes in a store, but, you know, internets) simply because it is in their best interest. You wouldn't buy a shoe from them if it was a pain in the ass to return if it didn't work for you: you'd go to a brick&mortar.

I think someone just farted in the ventilation system. Uhg.