Um, CNN is reporting that the state dept official who just resigned over the whole "DC Madam" thing claims to have used the escort service to get "messages". Not quite, folks. Try a vowel change in there to get a better picture of the story.

Now they're talking about Jessica Lynch and a tape of the "daring nighttime rescue". It's too early in the morning for this shit.

Messages? Ha.

My brother is such a shit. He sold his son a special penny (I don't get it) for $23. That was the son's estimated price. I hope J makes it up,l but knowing his mercernary teaching ways... Still, it makes me laugh. $23 has little meaning to my nephew right now. He can still buy his power rangers.

Isn't he afraid the lesson he's teaching him is, "Don't trust Daddy"?

I'm staying away from the very annoying news this morning. In part because of the nearly 7 hour drive yesterday (Mom insisted I have a late lunch with her, so that I hit Connecticut rush hour traffic square on) and the stomach upset last night and this morning. Le Sigh.

At least I'm home this morning, with all my toys around me and my snuggly cats.

They. Only. Delivered. The. Washer.

Can someone give me a good reason not to run down to PC Richards right now and start stabbing people with a sharpened spork? Other than having to put on shoes?

The number of things that have gone wrong with this order...I can't even count that high. As of today, I'm upgrading this mess from fuckup to GIANT CLUSTERFUCK FUCKUP FUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS DIE DIE DIE.

And the carpenter we scheduled for 10 am to put the bookshelves up is either late or not coming. If he doesn't show, this will be the third carpenter who's stood us up for this job. Clearly, we are cursed.

Aw Jess, what a pain. I'd be livid.

Can someone give me a good reason not to run down to PC Richards right now and start stabbing people with a sharpened spork? Other than having to put on shoes?

If you start stabbing people with a sharpened spork, there's going to be blood spatters. Some blood will spatter onto your clothing, and although you can now wash clothes, you have to wait for them to drip dry. I'm not sure that's good enough though, because those people need sporking.

I'm sorry about the carpenter, too. As the daughter of a former carpenter, I'm sad to say it's typical of our experience with carpenters (and electricians, too).

Timelies all!

After lunch we are going to the zoo. Haven't been there since the DC F2F, so there is much new to see.

The carpenter's now an hour and a half late, with no phone call. I think it's safe to assume he's not coming.

The new washer is installed and the installation guys were nice enough to carry the old one down the 4 flights of stairs even though it wasn't their job. (The truck to haul it away won't be coming until tomorrow, but since it's sitting on the curb right now, I don't really care.)

Of course, the new washer is USELESS without the dryer, because they're designed to run off of a single 220V outlet -- the washer plugs into the dryer and the dryer plugs into the wall. But it sure does look pretty.

We won't know about the status of the dryer until Monday. I think I'm just going to go to sleep until then.

Jess, it's too bad my friend who was a handyman for the past few years (a) is closer to Princeton than Brooklyn, and (b) recently got an office job again.

I give the fuck up and am going back to bed. No acupuncture, no teaching. Just bed.