WRT Alec Baldwin- my mom totally would have said that in a moment of anger. In fact I am pretty sure she called me a "selfish pig" several times in my life. I listened to that and it didn't really sound to bad to me, although I am pretty sure that I don't consider myself abused. Would I rather that she had more self control than to actually act as a pre-teen or teenager herself, well, yes, but I was pretty mean to her as well, and wouldn't want to be judged on that. Although now I am thinking of the time I called her a bitch and she actually washed my mouth out with soap-- I was fifteen so I didn't actually submit too easily and it was probably the only time our teenage angst became physical. Again, I wouldn't want to be judged on that...

I was wondering about the tulips because they are in full bloom right now (oh so pretty) and yesterday, some I passed were open, but today (cloudy) they were all teardrop-shaped. Now, they are in front of a mansion with fastidious gardners (seriously, as soon as something is thinking of going out of bloom, it is replaced with whatever is in bloom right.now, and this is just the space between the sidewalk and the street!) so for all I know, they replaced post-bloom with just-blooming.

Or maybe it is cause it is about to rain.

Tulips are very sun-seeking, which is why I don't buy them any more. They'd all end up flopped over the lip of the vase trying to reach the window.

I did learn on Martha Stewart how to keep cut tulips from opening and dropping pedals immediately. I think it was Marcia something Hayden who told Martha what to do (run a pin below the bloom to stop it from continued growth). I tried it with some tulips I had and it worked marvelously.

I should buy tulips today as the sweetpeas on the mantle have lost their blooms.

I don't like the Salon piece. She's being awfully blasé about verbal abuse, just because she doesn't feel like she's bearing any emotional scars.

And I dislike the insinuation that by not belitting our kids, we've allowed them to turn into violent little monsters.

Not every person is born with a thick skin--and not everyone can develop one. Sometimes, name-calling hurts and it's not necessary. It's bullying. And any kind of bullying sucks.

From the article:

Meanwhile, those of us who were raised by hotheads (who were, in turn, raised by wolves) scratched our heads and asked ourselves, "What's so wrong with name-calling?

I feel like I've heard this all over the net-- some people think it's abuse, others seem to have experienced it and don't think it's that big of a deal. I saw on the news this morning that Baldwin is now trying to get out of his 30 Rock contract b/c of this.

Happy Birthday, Isaac!

Hmm. I don't think it's abuse, exactly. I just think it's no way to talk to a child if you're not a child yourself. And even then, you'd get scolded.

Maybe he hadn't lost his temper--I didn't listen to the recording. My mother has a terrible temper, but she tried to mitigate it towards us, and was harsh with us as punishment, not as an outlet for her emotions.

Now, the spankings she gave us? Very out of fashion here in the US today. It'd be weird for me to think the tongue-lashing was more acceptable.

What gets me, Cashmere, is that she uses a totally unparalleled example. If a kid is acting like an asshat in class and is rude to other students, I actually have no qualms about lobbing a well-aimed zinger at the kid.

But, and this might seem like splitting hairs, I am not the kid's parent. I'm not designed just to be on kid A's side. In fact, I also have kids B-Z who need to be protected from kid A and I have no qualms about being the alpha-teaser if a kid is making others feel like shit, especially if my other options of, "Be kind" or "Keep it up, and you are going to the Dean's Office" don't work. I even have no problem saying to a particularly troubling kid, "You've got to go out of this room right now because I can't stomach the thought of you being in here and being as rude as you are right now."

I guess if you are making fun of others publicly in a space where I am supposed to be managing classroom behavior, I have no qualms of addressing your disruption publicly in that way. And, if I hurt your feelings and I can tell I've hurt your feelings, I'll also apologize to you publicly.

That seems to me a very different situation than a parent calling a kid a name in a hot-tempered moment. I don't have super strong feelings (I actually think pig is a terrible thing to call a girl, esp. in the extreme body-focused world of our society) on that; I'm more disturbed that he is so disconnected, he doesn't know how old she is.

I'm suffering a random bout of curiosity. I want to know the etymology of the phrase "on line" but I haven't been able to find a good site for the etymology of phrases.

The earliest usage I can think of is on steam-powered ships, where boilers can be on line (i.e. producing steam). Or maybe it comes from steam power plants in general.

Also, I am in middle school where the lingua franca is sarcasm. So I tend to use sarcasm with certain kids. Other kids, NSM. If I know the kid has a thick skin, I'll go there when pushed. But for most kids, I don't because I know them well enough to know that they can't handle it.

And as a kid, I hated being teased. Apparently my defense mechanism was to be verbally sharp. It's true that as an adult, most of my meatspace folks don't tease me at all because my response tends to come fast and off the cuff. That's a result of being picked on by my brother and cousin through my childhood.

I also don't think the lack of namecalling produces meaner or more violent kids.

edited for clarity.