Skipped a bit to send all kinds of ~ma to P-C's grandfather.

Also, don't the doctors have an ethical obligation to tell him his diagnosis so he can make his own decisions about care?

When my great-grandmother developed leukemia, she was never told what she had. She was born and raised in rural West Virginia, and her kids believed the word "cancer" would kill her quicker than the actual disease. They told she simply had a problem with nosebleeds, and she was perfectly happy and unworried until she died. Unethical maybe, but knowing Gram, probably better for her in the end.

When my great-grandmother developed leukemia, she was never told what she had. She was born and raised in rural West Virginia, and her kids believed the word "cancer" would kill her quicker than the actual disease. They told she simply had a problem with nosebleeds, and she was perfectly happy and unworried until she died. Unethical maybe, but knowing Gram, probably better for her in the end.

Huh. That's just... huh.

I read once that cancer used to be this thing you never talked about. Like, say, around the year 1900, if someone had cancer, their relatives would sometimes keep them up in the attic and keep it a secret.

It even had pictures of my insides! Out on a table! Cool!

Is it wrong that for a brief moment I was all "cool! I want to have surgery!"?

Huh. That's just... huh.

She was in her late 80s at the time, and this was back in 1984 or so, and it was a country hospital with a long-time family doctor. Everyone really believed that if she knew she had cancer she would just give up.

I, on the other hand, am like Robin. I want to know *everything* which may come from my mom being chronically ill with lupus. I'm not afraid of doctors, and I like to be treated more as a partner than a ... specimen or something. In each of my pregnancies, I was always praised for being so "good" about my diabetes, and knowing so much, which seemed to really surprise the doctors, when I was all, "Hello? My body, my babies, why wouldn't I be?"

It's not all that uncommon to withhold that information from older patients. I mean, I'm not sure how common it is in the US, but I know it happens often enough outside of here.

And now there are peacock feathers in your photograph. And...yeah. I think this might be The Way To Go. Hmm.

Yes! It is!

I'm wearing the same shade eyeliner you bought here. It reminds me of peacocks. Clearly, this is also a sign.

Ugh. Gmail seems to be holding my mail hostage. Grrrrrrrrrr...

She was in her late 80s at the time, and this was back in 1984 or so, and it was a country hospital with a long-time family doctor. Everyone really believed that if she knew she had cancer she would just give up.

There's a certain charm to this story, and I can certainly understand the motivations of everyone involved. I think it has something to do with the long-time family doctor aspect -- I mean, I had the same pediatrician growing up, but since adulthood I haven't really formed a relationship with a doctor that involves complete trust.

And, I have to say, for all my interest in what my doctors might be up to, I in no way want to see pictures of what my dentist is up to or hear the blow-by-blow. I still want to make the decisions, but after that I just to know what drugs I can have and when it's all over. Hee!

Like, say, around the year 1900, if someone had cancer, their relatives would sometimes keep them up in the attic and keep it a secret.

Back when I was writing newspaper obits in the '70s, many people didn't want cancer mentioned. "After a long illness" was code for cancer.

Very cool. I do realize that pictures aren't for everyone, but grilling the doctor about what is going on is second nature to me. I'm the suspicious type

yeah, I was mad that my doctor didn't keep my fibroids for me to look at.

Back when I was getting iron treatments and had to get lab work drawn every week, I ran into this situation. Unsurprisingly my doctor's handwriting is horrid. One of the fields on the lab slip is "diagnosis". I overhead the lab tech calling my doctor's office to dicypher his writing instead of asking me. I questioned the gal, saying it would be easier to ask me cause I know why I was there. She said that since my lab slip came from the infusion center that mainly handles cancer patients, it is their standard practice to call the clinic instead of ask the patient.

I guess if you had untreatable, terminal cancer it might be more blissfull not to know...but how can someone going through treatment and lab tests not know what is going on with their body. It boggles my mind.