Too late!
"Mommy's bowl! Mommy's bowl!"
"You have your own cereal, Lillian. Eat your cereal."
::girl watches as Mommy eats, occasionally making comments like, "Love cereal!" and finishing up with "Bye bye, Mommy's bowl!" as the bowl goes into the sink.::
"Okay, Lillian. Mommy's cereal is gone. Time to eat Lillian's cereal."
::spoon falls:
"Oh-oh. Spoon fell."
"Yes, spoon fell. Do you want another spoon so you can eat your cereal?"
"Want yellow spoon!"
"You want a yellow spoon?"
"Yes!"
"Okay"
::hands over yellow spoon, which promptly joins purple spoon on the floor::
"Lillian, are you all done with your cereal?" ::moves to remove bowl::
"NO! CEREAL! CEREAL!"
::sighs. washes purple spoon. hands to girl::
Drinking and masturbation. We all used to talk about it. Then we stopped.
Now, we've all given birth to contrary wee humans who sometimes make us wish we'd stuck to the drinking and masturbation
Oh, so people added milk to the cereal to get kids to consume milk? I always thought it was because people didn't like crunchy stuff. I never ever had milk in cereal and always wondered why it was considered odd not to.
Drinking and masturbation. We all used to talk about it. Then we stopped.
Not my fault.
t stares at Empress
Shut it, you.
Hah!
The scene: Castle von Miracleborn. Saturday. The Empress has left for her secondary job at the dealership. Miracleman has gotten up before her to get her going, and has gotten the Princess pottied, dressed and is in the process of feeding her...
MM: Emeline, do you want a waffle?
Emeline: (nods)
(Miracleman gets a frozen waffle from the freezer and toasts it. Minutes later he hands the toasty warm waffle to Emeline.)
MM: It's hot, so blow on it.
Emeline: (blows on the waffle for a couple minutes. Takes a nano-nibble) Hot! (Gives waffle to the World's Stupidest Dog)
MM: Emeline! No! Don't give it to the--You just let it sit for a second or blow on it some more...AARGH!!
Emeline: Daddy coffee?
MM: Yes, that is Daddy's coff--HEY, LET GO OF...
(Emeline has grabbed the mug in Daddy's hand and pulled, slopping scalding coffee across his crotch)
MM: AAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!!!
(MM sobs in agony for a few minutes. Emeline colors on the wall with a Sharpie she found somewhere)
MM: Emeline, that was NOT NICE! Say you're sorry.
Emeline: (nowhere near sincere) Thorry.
(MM slumps back on the couch, whimpering. Emeline approaches with an impish smile.)
Emeline: Daddy?
MM: Yes, Punk?
Emeline: Waffle, pleathe.
(MM dies a little inside)
t hugs and pets cat whose only desire in life is to sleep twenty hours a day in Mommy's hair. Mommy wouldn't mind a few days of being in bed for twenty hours
Oh, hey Aims!
I tried to ask Joe about this last night, but I had to talk in code because S was right there listening, so I couldn't come up with anything that would clue him in, and he kind of enjoys cluelessness anyway....
Will I be paying you or your friends for the Wicked tickets?
If they look like freaks in college, that's their problem.
Bwah! I love this parenting philosophy!
Will I be paying you or your friends for the Wicked tickets?
Them. Probably at the Going Away Party that I have to invite everyone to.
Still.
Sigh
adds one more thing to freaking list
If they look like freaks in college, that's their problem.
When I was actually living on a college campus (for that whole one semester), dry cereal was pretty much the most popular food, so they should be fine.
