Aw, geez, Erin. That's a shitty Monday to make all the other shitty Mondays hang their heads in shame.

You poor thing! Hell, I'm tediously anti-smoking and even I'm tempted to send you a carton of smokes just in case you need them.

Also, I'm growing increasingly convinced that cars are tools of the Devil. Fun as can be to drive and sometimes incredibly convenient, but they can also be the most infuriating, appalling, (and, apparently, jail-causing) bottomless money pits on the planet. Eeeeevul.

And in other news, I'm totally covered in shame that I posted yesterday without wishing tommyrot a happy birthday. I suppose I could wait until 2 a.m. on the day DST ends this fall, but I'd rather just wish belated goodness and a most excellent year now.

I'm trying to think which other Buffistas have worked on their Oscar acceptance speech. I'm sure Aimee's got about a dozen filed away. Jilli. Juliana. MM.

::shuffles feet, looks sheepish:: There might be one more person to add to that list.

And Sean, that rocks! Bask and preen all you want (and also maybe dig up an old headshot while you're at it); you deserve all kinds of juicy praiseful goodness.

Sometimes I think of what to say for Best Adapted Screenplay. But then I put the pipe down. But not for The Emmys. That one is always "This is for David Simon, and for Chris Bauer, and Melissa Leo, you thieving motherfuckers." Funny that my Dream Come True always ends with my not being invited back. Fear of success, much? But they are... Thieving motherfuckers.

I had to remind myself that I never wish bad on anyone else, no matter how angry I am at them, or how wrong I think they are, because I just about wished my neck/shoulder pain and your Shingles on your doctor, Cashmere.

What did you say to her?

How are you feeling?

Wait... I just went back and re-read. The doctor was unapologetic? What the what now?

Oh, they let me use my cell to call work and tell my principal I wouldn't be back today, and forgot to take it back, and I let all my bitches use it.

Always looking out for others. {{Erin}} Yep, you win the worst Monday prize! This means all the Mondays for the rest of the decade must be wonderful.

Sean! Well done. It sounds like it was a great closing.

Doc called me in some pain meds but was unapologetic about the fuckus at the office on Friday. Mmm...I'm looking into recs for another doctor.

I missed this upon reading somehow. WTF?!? Definitely time for a new doctor. Good luck finding a good one.

Cash, your doctor didn't even have the grace to apologize? That's intolerable. I wish her itches in places she can't reach to scratch.

Erin, I would totally buy your memoirs. Hell, I feel like I should pay you for the laugh you just gave me, imagining you asking the nice jailers to slide that leather belt a little lower on your hips. You won't be soon forgotten there!

Not that I'm laughing at your pain. I'm laughing with you. On the inside. I got way too close to handcuffs myself last August when I spaced out and fucked up badly with my own car stuff. Too many legalities - there's too much to potentially screw up and not even know it.

I'm growing increasingly convinced that cars are tools of the Devil.

Oh yeah. This is why I buy old cars, preferably old enough they don't have computers in them. They're easy to fix, there's less that can go wrong, you don't have to take out collision insurance, and they're cheap enough to buy that if the thing dies completely, it's not a huge loss. I covet, say, a brand-new Passat, but I can't bring myself to pay more than $7000 for a rapidly-depreciating asset.

Is Krrist supposed to be a sound effect?

Eyeliner of the Day: emerald.

I was going to whine about apparently catching a mild version of the ick over the interwebs, but instead:

{{{{{{Erin}}}}}}

You rawk. I'm so impressed with how well you've handled the last few months. So. very. impressed.

eta: I must have missed Cash's post, because I'm flabbergasted that he's not apologetic. What an asshat.

They're easy to fix, there's less that can go wrong, you don't have to take out collision insurance, and they're cheap enough to buy that if the thing dies completely, it's not a huge loss.

I read an article once about a guy who only bought the cheapest used cars and junked them whenever they needed any work beyond an oil change. Some lasted three months; some lasted five years. His total cost for cars over a 30-year period was amazingly low.

eta: Sorry about your stay in the joint, Erin. You have officially had a very bad day.

I bought a three year old Chevy in 1993 for less than $5000. I drove it ten years and put over 200,000 miles on it and never had to do any major repair except something with the transmission that didn't really cost very much. It was a good car, and a helluva good deal.