BT, I absolutely love the picture of you both in red! YOu look so handsome and Biyi is absolutely gorgeous. I can't wait to see more pictures and congratulations on the upcoming ceremony!

Okay, I have to be catty. I have to have to have to.

I got an e-mail last night with my group's latest "newsletter." It's not normally e-mailed out, because it's usually a PDF file available on the Web site, but whatever. This time it's html, and e-mailed out.

First of all, about 2/3 of the way down in the newsletter, there is a photo to illustrate a piece about some Easter event -- it's a NAKED WOMAN, viewed from behind, with bunny ears and a bunny tail.

Now, you tell me: who wants to open their e-mail at work and, given that the group has never sent out NAKED PICTURES before, get a picture of NAKED BUNNY WOMAN when they aren't expecting it?!?

That is so fucking uncool. I want to complain, but I know they won't take it seriously, coming from me. Maybe I can get The Boy to do it.

Now, other than the UNEXPECTED NAKED BUNNY WOMAN, there's the little matter of the writing. For instance, as part of the Easter event article, we have this list:

Some of the projects will be to come up with a list of the proper ways to:

Hide and egg
The proper ways to find and egg
The most unique way to use and egg once it is found.
Conduct a sub egg role contest

I just want to know -- does the "egg role" contest offer categories for "deviled," "Benedict," and "over-easy"?

Also related to the Easter event:

We want this to be a great turn out, take over the restaurant, and run the vanillas out. Let show them that this is our place and the vanillas are the ones out of place. Let's make it happen. We need 50-60 plus. Open to all groups or interested individuals.

See, I think that's just insulting, and puts the group in a very bad light. One of the important things that "deviant" groups always have to remember -- especially in a place as conservative as Cincy -- is to not be all up in people's faces with our kink. So "run the vanillas out"??? Yeah, that's going to work.

It's actually a staggeringly incoherently written piece, and I'm honestly wondering if whomever wrote it was drunk or high when they wrote it. Try and follow the flow of these paragraphs, which are un-edited by me (except to redact the group's name) and are in exactly the same order as they appear in the newsletter:

This party will be governed by The Bunny Rules not [group] rules, however you may be ask to sign a waiver that you agree to hold everyone else harmless from jokes, wise cracks, better than Vanilla conversation being sat on by the bunny, and food coloring stains.

Bunny's Rules

Alcohol will be encouraged (say it aint so), but please drink responsibly. Remember the proper care and feeding of the Bunny is very important. Remember the liquids! All Bunnys need their liquids.

Costumes are welcome but not required.

Minute! The Bunny says "there are no rules," except to have a great time.

Um? The HELL?!?

Apologies if the above made anyone's brain go splat.

t edit I'm just glad it wasn't over-edited, because it might have changed the meaning. Whatever that is.

Sorry Teppy. No time to read. I'm off to play in the semi-finals of Hide And Egg.

Flee, Teppy, flee to the company of lightly twisted people with brains!

Tep, "the hell?!" doesn't even begin to suffice.

I'm strangely curious about what "Minute!" means in that last part. Be very small? This will only take a...?

I have to be catty. I have to have to have to.

Yes. Yes you do.

Speaking as a Vanilla, nothing would run me out of any place, any quicker than having to read that newletter. They should print a bunch up, and hand them out at the restaurant.

Hide and egg

I'm glad this group is nowhere near DC. I know I don't want my house egged.

Does the newsletter include The Bunny Rules? Because I think that's the part by which I'm the most intrigued...

That newsletter is almost like the scene in Annie Hall where Woody is able to pull Marshall McLuhan out to shut up the blowhard. You couldn't ask for better validation.