NO ONE KNOWS THE DEPTHS OF SUPERBOY-PRIME'S PAIN!

....and he's written a little song about it.

Dan Didio was asked about this on Newsarama. Here's his response -

Q: Is there a plausible explanation as to WHY and HOW Superboy Prime can alter reality by hitting some sort of imaginary wall? Even in the quasi-scientific world of superhero comics, that's a real big stretch.

w DD: We explained that following CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS when the multiverse collapsed into one universe and one world, that one world was not fully settled and still resonated with vibrations of the other worlds. When Alex Luthor created the “heaven” dimension where the four heroes escaped, it was built from the remnant energies of the Multiverse and closed around them like a cocoon. The pounding on a wall built from the Multiverse, affected a universe still resonating with the Multiverse, thereby changing time and history. Simple? Next up, Grant Morrison explains Hypertime.

Simple? Next up, Grant Morrison explains Hypertime.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

So, Newsarama has posted its Crisis Recovery for issue 6. There are some priceless lines and plenty of filler. This is one of my faves -

Q: Batman is asking Sasha to get Oracle to upload all of the computer viruses on earth to Brother Eye?

A: It worked in Independence Day didn’t it? Wouldn’t you have loved to see the thought process Batman had for that? “I was watching this movie the other night…was that Paxton or Pullam in it? Anyway…let’s see, they had a giant invading force coming, and what did they do? Man…Vivica Fox was hot in that. She’s really let herself go since she started dating 50 Cent…back to topic Bruce, back to topic….what did they do…Randy Newman! That’s it, we need Randy…no, no, no…good soldier, Bruce, be a good soldier….computer viruses! That’s it. Who has a Mac? Let’s see….Ollie? Yeah, that old pinko bastard has to be an Apple guy. Let me call him. Brother Eye is going down! Hey – that guy that played Data on Star Trek was in that movie too…”

Q: A jillion viruses? That will do it?

A: As Batman said, he’s all about distracting Brother Eye at this point. But yeah, it would’ve been awesome to see on all the different screens around the satellite things like “You’ve been h%cked suxx0rs!” and random pictures of porn.

So, essentially, as Brother Eye is defending itself against Batman and his Outsiders, part of its computer brain is wondering if he should help M’BATU KAFRINA transfer 60 MILLION DOLLARS into one of its many bank accounts, because this guy seems so trustworthy. And another part of its brain is mulling over if, as a satellite, it actually needs a bigger penis, but regardless, those are good prices for Cialis. And another part of its brain is in a chat room, waiting for the HOT CHIX to show up…but it’s starting to think it’s been tricked.

Hee:

Q: So he’s systematically destroying alternate earths?

A: Yep. And not only that, he’s destroying any stories that ever happened on those earths, and with them, your comics with those stories in them. Go look now – check your long boxes. All you’ve got left are ashes. Sorry.

Oh, dear: Q: Wait, what? Booster is changing the past? What will that mean for the future?

A: Who can say? Booster was from a world where Batman went up and couldn’t find Brother Eye, and it was a pretty nice place. At worst, there will probably just be a Legion of Super-Heroes reboot somewhere down the line.

Ahahahahaha:

Q: Is Batman saying that Booster doesn't know how to talk to kids?

A: Yeah--this is the kinder, gentler, Batman, apparently. Either that, or he's got one wicked sense of humor, and thinks that Booster should've said to Beetle, "Who am I? I'm the goddamn Booster Gold." Now that's how you talk to kids.

Also, I am 12:

Q: Who said, "It's a lot bigger than I thought it'd be?"

A: Hard to say, but you just know that Green Lantern muttered "That's what she said," and Black Canary elbowed him in the ribs, while Metamorpho chuckled.

God, I hate you all. No comics for me until at least tomorrow.

And again:

Q: Superboy -- trapped for years by the Flashes in the Speed Force?

A: Yep -- and apparently, he studied exposition until he became a master at it.