So, Newsarama has posted its Crisis Recovery for issue 6. There are some priceless lines and plenty of filler. This is one of my faves -

Q: Batman is asking Sasha to get Oracle to upload all of the computer viruses on earth to Brother Eye?

A: It worked in Independence Day didn’t it? Wouldn’t you have loved to see the thought process Batman had for that? “I was watching this movie the other night…was that Paxton or Pullam in it? Anyway…let’s see, they had a giant invading force coming, and what did they do? Man…Vivica Fox was hot in that. She’s really let herself go since she started dating 50 Cent…back to topic Bruce, back to topic….what did they do…Randy Newman! That’s it, we need Randy…no, no, no…good soldier, Bruce, be a good soldier….computer viruses! That’s it. Who has a Mac? Let’s see….Ollie? Yeah, that old pinko bastard has to be an Apple guy. Let me call him. Brother Eye is going down! Hey – that guy that played Data on Star Trek was in that movie too…”

Q: A jillion viruses? That will do it?

A: As Batman said, he’s all about distracting Brother Eye at this point. But yeah, it would’ve been awesome to see on all the different screens around the satellite things like “You’ve been h%cked suxx0rs!” and random pictures of porn.

So, essentially, as Brother Eye is defending itself against Batman and his Outsiders, part of its computer brain is wondering if he should help M’BATU KAFRINA transfer 60 MILLION DOLLARS into one of its many bank accounts, because this guy seems so trustworthy. And another part of its brain is mulling over if, as a satellite, it actually needs a bigger penis, but regardless, those are good prices for Cialis. And another part of its brain is in a chat room, waiting for the HOT CHIX to show up…but it’s starting to think it’s been tricked.

Hee:

Q: So he’s systematically destroying alternate earths?

A: Yep. And not only that, he’s destroying any stories that ever happened on those earths, and with them, your comics with those stories in them. Go look now – check your long boxes. All you’ve got left are ashes. Sorry.

Oh, dear: Q: Wait, what? Booster is changing the past? What will that mean for the future?

A: Who can say? Booster was from a world where Batman went up and couldn’t find Brother Eye, and it was a pretty nice place. At worst, there will probably just be a Legion of Super-Heroes reboot somewhere down the line.

Ahahahahaha:

Q: Is Batman saying that Booster doesn't know how to talk to kids?

A: Yeah--this is the kinder, gentler, Batman, apparently. Either that, or he's got one wicked sense of humor, and thinks that Booster should've said to Beetle, "Who am I? I'm the goddamn Booster Gold." Now that's how you talk to kids.

Also, I am 12:

Q: Who said, "It's a lot bigger than I thought it'd be?"

A: Hard to say, but you just know that Green Lantern muttered "That's what she said," and Black Canary elbowed him in the ribs, while Metamorpho chuckled.

God, I hate you all. No comics for me until at least tomorrow.

And again:

Q: Superboy -- trapped for years by the Flashes in the Speed Force?

A: Yep -- and apparently, he studied exposition until he became a master at it.

Sorry, ita. Please don't kill me.

Finally! I have read the comics and the whitefont, and I'm quite the happy camper. Though, really, starting TT34 before IT6 wasn't the brightest move. But I knew exactly at which point (the Kon statue) to go back and read Infinite Crisis. The ending of TT34 was magical, and I know that Steph got a kick out of it, before I even got back here.

I didn't dislike Outsiders as much as the previous issue, and really liked the art this time.

Okay, time to go read my Marvel.

Neal Gaiman, teen idol: [link]

"I'm not sure," Gaiman says. "But I do know that when I got to Singapore to do a reading, there were 600 teenage girls waiting. And when I got to the Philippines, there were 2,000 teenage girls waiting, screaming my name."

Too bad the rest of the article is "Newsflash! Girls Read Comics!!"