I got a new error message. I love the Geekies.

t x-post

Thanks. I just realised it was doing *two* checks to get all that error message out, so I trapped for the specific string. It won't help the problem any, but the page should load microscopically quicker.

And it made me feel a little better.

Shame we can't have a bunch of random error messages, because that would be cool.

No, I'm not seriously suggesting it.

Yay for ita's new error message. What exactly am I supposed to do with the chicken, though?

t looks dolefully at the squawking bird pooping in the corner of office

Shame we can't have a bunch of random error messages

Then b.org really would be like a Magic 8-Ball.

What exactly am I supposed to do with the chicken, though?

Roast? Fry? Fricassee?

New error message rocks.

Since we’re less than 24 hours away from our deadline, I thought I should do a summary since some things have changed/been clarified since the initial proposal:

We can offer you a managed, semi-dedicated account. You would get 50GB of storage, 100GB of bandwidth and 255 MySQL connections. The server would be a P4 with 1024 MB of RAM. The extra memory is a good thing given that MySQL tends to be a hog with regard to memory not CPU resources.

The cost is $200 a month with a $100 setup fee for a year-long contract or $200 per month with a $250 setup fee if you choose the month to month option. There would be no additional fees, aside from extra storage and bandwidth should you somehow need that. All of the normal management services that a webhost provides are included in that $200 per month fee. The software, kernel and module updates are all taken care of. The backup is taken care of. Etc.

We are offering a Buffista rebate program. If X number of Buffistas decide to move their websites to the FG server, we would pull their space from your allocation and reduce your costs by the amount of their plan. [They spend $10 a month, you save $10 a month.] These are our hosting plans. Our Terms of Service can be found here. Also, if down the road we work out the resource issues and FG needs more space for new clients, we're willing to buy back space from you, further reducing the cost.

The server would be entirely FanGeek's and we will work with you to fine-tune the configuration and settings to see if that helps your situation. Whether or not it does, the site would stay up and there won't be any further error message issues. Also, being that it would be our server, I can reboot it any time we need that to happen.

FanGeek hosts 9 other sites. None of them use PHP or MySQL. Most of them are small sites that somehow relate to some fandom.

If you choose to take this option, there are some benefits beyond “no more error messages.” First, it requires the least amount of work and results in the shortest downtime. There’s no moving of files, reinstalling the board or testing it. The whole transfer gets done for you. It will be just like when we moved servers two months ago. [Though I would probably recommend that we shut down for a few hours so we don’t lose any posts this time.] There’s also no waiting for the DNS to resolve to a new location since your nameserver remains the same.

On the Buffista rebate front, by staying with us, you can save money without having to do the work. We’re giving you the credit but we’re not expecting you to service those accounts. We'd serve as the webhost on all matters. You'd just get the discount.

Obviously, the cost is a huge downside. There’s really nothing I can say on the subject that’s going to make the blow any easier.

Having a webhost who is also a community member is a bit of mixed blessing so put that one in whichever column you deem appropriate.

And that’s everything, I think. Offer expires at noon tomorrow. The new error message is still cracking my shit up.

The original error message was funny as hell. This new one is possible even funnier than hell.

Which does beg the question, why is hell funny?

Um, shouldn't it be a goat sacrifice? Perhaps curried?