Ah, I wasn't sure what was Kristen and what was Steve. "They" seemed suitably vagure.

Look, for various reasons I'm tired most of the time right now, so I sometimes put things clumsily, and misunderstand some stuff that was clear to everyone else. But I honestly think some of my points may prove useful, and if anything I say seems hostile I hope you will understand that it is not - it is simply poor phrasing that in trying to help solve the problem.

Tom, Rob -- I tried on our test server to do the show processlist -- not only could I get into the commandline mysql twice, show processlist showed both command line logins and my browser firing off queries.

This is very interesting. And we have been unable to fail on the test server also, correct?

Also, Typo Boy, I read you as also speaking reasonably. By nature we have divergent opinions throughout the board. Yours sounds fine, and not accusatory, to me.

It does not specify how much they would play with the configuration - certainly not unlimited amounts.

I had been pretty much willing to test out any and all server configuration options. The server would be mine to do with as I please. IH would have no say though Steven would be on hand to make suggestions if I wanted to hear them.

The thing about a real dedicated server is we could play with the settings as much as we wanted.

See, my plan was pretty much to give you a real dedicated server without making you pay for the whole thing.

At this point, can I just take the offer off the table and let you guys make some other arrangements? I'm tired and feeling kind of beat up here. I think it's clear that the will of the board or the geekies or whatever you want to call them is that we're too expensive. I understand that. Unfortunately, I can't afford to give you guys any more price breaks at this point. If I could, I would. But, you know, I need to be able to buy groceries every week.

So can we all just move on to talking about where to move to, please?

Honestly we are not beating you up. Like I said some of the phrasing may be clumsy. You made an offer, and it may still be the right one. Remember a lot of the people saying the things that offend you are not making the decision. And I'm sorry you find some of the discussion hurtful. Normally when you make an offer, the parties considering it discuss it privately. This situation does not allow for it. Some of what you just said was not completely clear to me - even though it may not be to everyone else For example, until now I did not know the server would be completely under your control. And maybe everyone else did.

I'm going to shut up now, becasue I think at this moment the negatives have strarted to outweight the positives in my contributions to this conversation. I do wish you could manage not to be hurt by this discussion. I know, that kind of rates with "cheer up" as someone asking you do something not under your control. Its not ingratitude; we can't accept an offer just because you are going out of your way to try to help us; we have to make sure we don't get both the buffitas and fangeek into a worse situation than at present. ita and the other buffista super-geeks may yet decide your offer is the best way to go - or not. Having made an offer with a very short deadline, I really hope you won't withdraw because you find the discussions made under a fair degree of time pressure less than tactful.. But I apologize since obviously I offended you.

I'm not saying that anyone is intentionally beating me up or even unintentionally beating me up. What I'm saying is that some of the posts I've read here - and to be fair not most, not even specifically yours and not just tonight - make me feel that way. I'm not saying it's anyone's intent but, as the sole spokeperson for FG here and a member of this community, it's been very hard not to take certain comments a little personally. There have been a sprinkling [that's all, not a lot, just a sprinkling] of posts that I read and came away feeling that I hadn't done enough to make this situation work and/or I was somehow trying to screw you guys over.

If people say, "I'm concerned that it's too much money," I'm more than okay with that and understand that position. If people say, "I'm not comfortable deciding that fast," I get that too. I honestly just threw out the offer to give you the best solution I could afford and I saw it as a remote possibility that you'd go for it. I am very aware that it's 1000% increase in cost and that the deadline is very very tight. But I didn't think it would hurt to make the pitch and see what everyone wanted to do.

But certain comments about the deadline and the terms have, regardless of their intent, felt personal. Again, like I'm trying to scam everyone or pull a fast one.

I really did try my utmost to make this current situation work and I do feel very badly that it didn't. I'm sorry that everyone has to have this conversation again. I'm sorry that ita will, once again, have to deal with relocating the site. If I'd known it was going to turn out this way, I wouldn't have set us on this path. But, unfortunately, we were working blind six months ago and had to guess at what the issues might be.

I'm also wishing I had found a way to let this roll off my back. Sadly, I think that cool-headed, unemotional parts did not come factory standard in the Kristen model.

Kristen, for what it is worth, I see you/Fangeek as so willing to help that you're even changing your own, already-satisfactory-to-you, set-up for your other accounts, to get us a better deal. You? Scamming us? Not even a concern. I can't speak for everyone, but I bet I do. You're a godsend.

I don't even see Steve/IH as scamming us. I'd be happier if one of two situations existed:

1) I am suddenly smarter and completely understand and can render a perfect diagnosis and cure for our problem. Immediately.

2) Steve runs in here, saying, "Buffistas! I'll be your willing slave. Stay with me and pay $20 until we figure out your problem. If it's on your end, you'll need to upgrade. If it's on our end, we fix it for you. Either way, I'll send you free, really good chocolate, at whim of your hormone cycles, and build an altar to you in my home, and FanGeek gets a free ride for a year, for putting up with both Buffistas and IH."

I am fully aware he'd be out of business, and possibly in a well-padded room, if he did this in reality.

I almost hate myself for asking this, since it's a horrible kludge, but would it be possible to swap database accounts, i.e. load all our live tables into the test account and make it the live one?

I really did try my utmost to make this current situation work and I do feel very badly that it didn't. I'm sorry that everyone has to have this conversation again. I'm sorry that ita will, once again, have to deal with relocating the site. If I'd known it was going to turn out this way, I wouldn't have set us on this path. But, unfortunately, we were working blind six months ago and had to guess at what the issues might be.

Kristen, you did more than many people would have done, and I greatly appreciate what you did to help us find a home when we needed one. I know I would be having trouble not taking things personally if I were in your position. 'Tis a hard thing, mixing business and friendship.

And the hosting has been everything we could have asked, up to this point, when we've evidently hit an unsolvable problem with this setup.

(After an hour or so of board-reading without a single error, suddenly I just hit five in a row. I guess I was alone on it for a while?)