OMG, I was just talking to my boss about potential PTO days I'll need to head down to Champaign for school, and she told me that since they are for an approved education program, they'll give me the days and I won't have to take them out of my PTO bank! That's two weeks extra vacation/sick days.

I have to say this about this company--they may not pay a lot, but they sure do have great benefits.

There was a safety walkthrough. It's some sort of racket that keeps us tied up in paperwork.

Once, I gave the new safety guy a lab tour, and about 15 minutes after he left, there was a crowd of people outside the door demanding to know why I allowed someone to walk into a on operating "laser lab" without safety goggles.

I walked them down to the lab. The laser in question was weaker than a laser pointer, and if he had looked at the clearly marked safety sheet on the door, he would have seen that no goggles were required.

Instead of asking me, DumbBitch (as I call him in my head) called in the Safety Calvary, tattling his way into everyone knowing he's a moron.

And don't get me started on the timer on the coffee pot.

I have to say this about this company--they may not pay a lot, but they sure do have great benefits.

And not just great in the tangible time-and-money sense; it sounds like they're really behind you.

I smell war.

Turn this to your advantage. Sic this person on your landlord.

This statement is making me laugh and laugh. Maybe I'm just having flashbacks to the time James Marsters came to Dragon*Con, and how his bodyguards nearly flattened me. I didn't even notice he was in the lobby. I just wanted to use the elevator.

Uh-huh. I'm sure I looked like such the Jennifer Hudson fangurl. And it was probably just some flunkie of the mayor's that I couldn't be near.

I have a new person on the "Allyson's 48 bosses" list, who is a know-it-all annoyance who just wrote me up for not having enough room under my desk to hide in case of earthquake.

If I were you, this person would never, ever get important mail, documentation, and messages in timely fashion again.

The important question is, did you proceed to climb under your desk and show him how roomy it really was?? Mybae drag his head under there and bang it on the underside of the desk to prove it was a sturdy desk?

...Not that I work with lasers or anything, but quarterly fire drills are about as extensive a safety training as we get.

The kicker is that my desk is right in front of the door.

And our building is specially designed with these enormous columns deep in the ground to keep any sort of vibration to a minimum, since we deal with frequency.

I hate the 48 bosses thing!

Also, I am about to kill Earthlink live chat. I am trying to pay a past due (by 4 days) bill. The bill is $20.00. My credit card expired. I want to change to a bankdraft because I haven't activated the new card. It took them bout 5 minutes of chat before they told me that "noticed my credit card was declined" and that I should pay, so I wouldn't have this trouble! Grrr. I even told them I was past due! Also, the chatter kept saying 'Ok, fine', which probably wasn't meant to be snotty, but it sure sounded that way! He kept telling me to go to a make payment later button that was not there!

Maybe one of the 48 bosses needs to order you a new desk if the earthquake rating on the current one is not up to code.

Shit I DID actually say:

Nice solution, R. It's the one I've been proposing for the last two years.