The Penguin, so Jon Stewart doesn't have to change his impersonation.

Ow. Kathy, you just made me snorfle instant oatmeal up my nose.

Maybe they should just freeze him in an undisclosed location until he's needed. They could just thaw him out every once and a while to tell the press that, frankly, things are going quite well in Iraq.

I kind of thought that's what happens now?

It's apparently snowing here. WTF? It was like 100 degrees on Saturday!

I kind of thought that's what happens now?

Yeah, I guess the mistake was thawing him out long enough for that trip.

Yeah, I guess the mistake was thawing him out long enough for that trip.

Yeah, someone left him inside Air Force Two, which was parked in the sun with the windows closed....

It's apparently snowing here. WTF? It was like 100 degrees on Saturday!

A hundred wha? It was so cold by the end of the day. Anyhoo, this happened at work today: I went to a meeting in another office two floors up and looked out the window and it was snowing like whoa and I said, "holy crap, it was not snowing when I was in my office two minutes ago!" and the other person made a joke about them having an apocalypse on just one floor ha-ha.

Then like an hour later someone from down the hall walks into my office and looks out the window and says "holy crap it was not snowing when I was in my office two seconds ago!" and for a second I totally thought they overheard me in the other office but no, the weather has been just that weird.

This made me happy:

The Weekly World Inquisitor is reporting the disturbing news that crop-circle creating aliens are boycotting certain fields because of fears of GM contamination. According to the Inquisitor, a scientist with the unlikely name of Buck Uranus has compiled "a major survey of crop circles created over the past five years and says he has not found a single example left in fields containing GM crops."

..

Come on -- how can you not trust Uranus, who regularly channels messages from alien beings, when he says that one shape-shifting lizard told him: "Just imagine -- we accidentally pick up a few seeds on our undercarriage and take them home without knowing. They could spread like wildfire then and we'd end up paying Monsanto an annual fee just to grow flooble beans on our own planet. Madness."

Indeed.

[link]

A moose once bit my helicopter... (Chicago Tribune registration required.)

flooble beans

Aw. At first I thought this word was flooable. And I fell madly in love with it and wanted to use it in all sorts of ways like, "I'm sorry honey, that's just not flooable" "We can floo with this! This is totally flooable." trying to come up with definitions for it and stuff. Then I copied it to paste it in my post are realized it wasn't flooable but flooble, which is fine and all, but not flooable which makes this whole post moot, but I'm bored at work and I'd already started typing so...