You should make up some story about how a mysterious stranger introduced you to a love of libraries....

Or how Party Girl is your favorite movie?

Or how Party Girl is your favorite movie?

Good one. Except you'd have to add, "...but I totally would not have sex in the library and leave a window open and let a bunch of rare books get rained on."

How about this for the opening paragraph?

In my childhood, libraries were a refuge, and I idealized the people that worked there. But, as I grew up and started working in libraries, first as a volunteer, and than in college as an employee, I became aware that there was a lot more to the profession than just reading and recommending books all day long.

Basically, the same thing, but in a less cliched fashion, right?

Very nice change, Kathy.

but I totally would not have sex in the library and leave a window open and let a bunch of rare books get rained on."

I have to say that the most horrifying thing I ever heard in a library was during an interview at a theological seminary's library, when they told me that they had to save money in the summertime by having all the employees off work on Fridays (yay!), and turning off the A/C for the three-day weekend. They had a bunch of rare 16th and 17th century books there that were getting ruined in the humidity of a non-controlled environment!!!

Huh. Despite the fact that I am sleep-deprived and coffee-impaired, I had a "you know, if I just did it this way" epiphany about a monthly task, and --

-- then my cube was invaded by some random dude wanting to know where some other random employee was, while someone else was knocking on the door, and after I made him go away, I had a conversation with my supervisor about what a clusterfuck our lack of a receptionist is, and oh my god, EVERY SINGLE PERSON who walks through the door asks why the door is locked, and there are a lot of people walking through that door, and sweet baby Jesus, point me to the bitch I have to choke.

Did any of these people bring you bacon, shrift? Coffee? Cigarettes? Booze? Sparkly boys in eyeliner? Because if not, I'm not sure why they haven't all been choked.

Gronk.

I don't know what time zone my body think's it's in, but it's certainly not this one. Didn't fall asleep until around 3, and now it's 11 and I'm just barely getting to semi-awake. Well, I don't have any classes until 12:45, so I can get dressed and have lunch now and be there on time. (I'm counting a glass of soy milk I had around 9 as breakfast.)

They're clients for the other departments on our floor. Departments who can't be bothered to find a solution to this very pressing problem because they're not situated near the door.

Maybe they'll find a solution AFTER I KILL ALL OF THEIR CLIENTS AHAHAHAHAHA.

Anyone else finding psychopathic!shrift funny? 'Cause I sure the hell am.