Huh. Despite the fact that I am sleep-deprived and coffee-impaired, I had a "you know, if I just did it this way" epiphany about a monthly task, and --

-- then my cube was invaded by some random dude wanting to know where some other random employee was, while someone else was knocking on the door, and after I made him go away, I had a conversation with my supervisor about what a clusterfuck our lack of a receptionist is, and oh my god, EVERY SINGLE PERSON who walks through the door asks why the door is locked, and there are a lot of people walking through that door, and sweet baby Jesus, point me to the bitch I have to choke.

Did any of these people bring you bacon, shrift? Coffee? Cigarettes? Booze? Sparkly boys in eyeliner? Because if not, I'm not sure why they haven't all been choked.

Gronk.

I don't know what time zone my body think's it's in, but it's certainly not this one. Didn't fall asleep until around 3, and now it's 11 and I'm just barely getting to semi-awake. Well, I don't have any classes until 12:45, so I can get dressed and have lunch now and be there on time. (I'm counting a glass of soy milk I had around 9 as breakfast.)

They're clients for the other departments on our floor. Departments who can't be bothered to find a solution to this very pressing problem because they're not situated near the door.

Maybe they'll find a solution AFTER I KILL ALL OF THEIR CLIENTS AHAHAHAHAHA.

Anyone else finding psychopathic!shrift funny? 'Cause I sure the hell am.

AFTER I KILL ALL OF THEIR CLIENTS

It's the only way to be sure.

I started reading b.org after Julie linked me to one of shrift's posts. I can't remember the details, but she'd had a hellacious morning, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd laughed so hard at an internet rant.

Kathy, I was just going to suggest something like this:

Many little girls who love books dream of working in a library, and I was no exception. As I've grown older, research and information dissemination has become the central part of my professional life and I've learned that working in a library is much more than books. It's helping people find exactly the information they need.

You beat me with your change, which I like a lot.

They had a bunch of rare 16th and 17th century books there that were getting ruined in the humidity of a non-controlled environment!!!

Ack! Crazy people. The library at Emory is conditioned for the books and not the people, which meant the graduate seminar rooms were freezing winter and summer. In winter, we usually didn't even take off our coats and gloves.

The library at Emory is conditioned for the books and not the people

As it should be.

Ideally, you should have to perform a quest and pass other qualification tests to even get near the books.

(and the conversation in Bitches is making me trip over my spelling today)

Dear My Other Supervisor,

For this one task, you keep telling me to reference documentation that doesn't actually exist. I do this task so rarely that I mostly forget the details, and sure, I should have written it down last time, but fuck me sideways with an electric stapler, because I did not.

And, you know, it wouldn't be so bad, except the guy who processes these requests is a psychohosebeast jerkface. He's the Bastard Operator From Hell sans a goddamn sense of humor, and I have to tell you, being a funny tyrant is the entire point of a Bastard Operator From Hell. Even an error that isn't a real error will set this guy off. He'll send a relentless series of step-by-step screen caps about how He Is Right, And I Am Stupid And Wasting His Time, and dude, it's like being gored by a rampaging yak.

So, explain it one more time for me, please. I have my pen poised. With luck, I will not startle the yak.

Sincerely,
shrift