Oh, man, I'm miserable. Came into work because I have no sick leave yet, and everything hurts. Breathing, talking, drinking, coughing. Coughing really hurts--my throat feels absolutely raw from all the coughing I did last night. But I have to cough because I have gunk in my chest!

My brother who gave me this cold owes me big time. Bastard.

Plus, you'll probably get a coupon for a free Coke.

Shit I Didn't Say: "Not only is what you are asking me to do incredibly stupid, you also misspelled it."

Tell 'em there's a MOUSE in your Diet Coke!!!

Sorry shirft!

Tell 'em there's a MOUSE in your Diet Coke!!!

Or a FINGER!!

Or a mouse and a finger!

A free six pack! And it turns out, the bottle expired last NOVEMBER. Stupid deli -- someone must have found it in a corner and put it on the front of the shelves, because I know their stock turns around fast, normally.

Jesse's going to get Cola Cancer!

Dana, were you there for my spectacular slip on the ice at the 2005 Connexions curling expedition? I understand it was a textbook-perfect "slip on a banana peel and go flying" sort of maneuver, though I wasn't in a position to either see or enjoy it.

I got upended at Tahoe this weekend. JZ's brother went scooting into me on his sled-disk and my feet went way up in the air. Fortunately, I landed on him.

I have a can of diet ginger ale that's....underfilled or something. Negative pressure, in any case. I'm kinda afraid to open it. But too curious to toss it.

Steven Colbert had a smudge last year, I remember. And it isn't just Catholics--Episcopalians do it too.