flea, you're sick, not wimpy.

Not that every couple shares everything, but my expectation is that they may. Unless I specifically say "don't tell Partner."

This. And even then, I wouldn't be shocked if they did, unless it was something SERIOUS. On the flip side, my girlfriends tell me things about their partners that I'm sure the partners think are secrets, if not explicitly so.

Go Kathy, go!

my girlfriends tell me things about their partners that I'm sure the partners think are secrets, if not explicitly so.

Oh, yeah, and this. It's a weird matrix of confidences.

Flea's answer is pretty much mine on secrets, though when there is drama I think we are probably even more likely to tell each other because we want to be able to discuss the drama with someone who isn't in the middle of it.

Oh, yeah, and this. It's a weird matrix of confidences.

Not for nothing, but there's only so much to talk about, and "OMG wait til you hear THIS" is way better than another aggravating day at work or whatever.

Saw this coming

Wow. You must be psychic or something.

"OMG wait til you hear THIS" is way better than another aggravating day at work or whatever.

Unless you need them to go kill your boss.

Okay, kettlebell!

I assume that if I tell one person in a couple something, the other person will be told.

Personally I've taken to announcing the fact that Aimee will be told unless a) the confider specifically asks me not to (never happens) or 2) It's a surprise for Aimee.

I'm with Flea. If I am asked not to tell my partner, I won't, but a fact told to me is usually a fact told to us. J is much more private--not only would he not tell me secrets entrusted by others, he won't tell me fairly ordinary things without express permission to share. "How was lunch with John? How did that job interview he told us about go?" "He mentioned it to me, but I don't know if I can tell you."

I'm such a yakker -- this is why I like having non-overlapping sets of friends, so I can tell you people secrets of my grad school friends (or whoever), because you don't actually care, when I just have to let it out!

I assume that anything I say to half a couple is fair game for the other half to know. And that even if I request secrecy, I better be prepared for the possibility of the secret not being kept. Even if it's not an intentional violation of the confidence (and spousal relationships do trump any loyalty I can expect to receive, except maybe from my parents), there's just too much opportunity to stumble and accidentally reveal something to a person if most of your daily conversation is with them.