JZ, listen to Steph and Plei and Aimee and all the other wise people.
Lee, thanks, but we'll be driving back down from Tahoe and I'm not sure exactly when we'll be back.
I guess I'll just have to swoop on Saturday or in a couple of weeks then.
eta:
After I get home from work, clean the bathroom, do the dishes and tons of laundry, and whatever else I'm forgetting right now, I get to have booze and Winchesters, and I think that is the only thing keeping me going right now.
Hey, subtract the cleaning, and my Thursday night is shrift's. YAY
Oh, yeah, my kids are definitely on the bad end of sleeping, even Peter, though he's so much better than Eve that I'm practially cartwheeling around with joy. I was trying to say that my worst sleeper ever had better and worse times, and was decent by 18 months - it was a hopeful message! Because when the "My kid slept through the night spontaneously at 6 weeks" people chirp up (IRL), I still kinda wanna kill them.
I do understand the scarring.
I feel pretty set about saying no to the job...if I can get the same money doing something else that won't be as taxing, it's a simple decision. This workplace isn't the be-all and end-all, it's not a vocation, it's not what I've been dreaming about since forever. I want to get back into acting, and writing, and just generally being creative. I don't want to expend huge chunks of my time and energy on something that ultimately means nothing to me.
Right now, I'm so worn out that when Hec asks me to take a couple of magazine clippings and do a CD cover, I feel panicky. One of my parents pulls out a poem I wrote years ago and says, "This is so moving. What are you working on lately?" and I feel guilty and teary. That's the stuff that really matters, the loss of competence that I feel deeply.
we made a day trip to Indiana to visit my in-laws two weeks ago. We went to lunch, returned to the in-laws house where they promptly sent me upstairs to have a nap while they played with the kids for three hours.
Cash, your in-laws are MADE OF AWESOME.
I feel pretty set about saying no to the job...if I can get the same money doing something else that won't be as taxing, it's a simple decision. This workplace isn't the be-all and end-all, it's not a vocation, it's not what I've been dreaming about since forever. I want to get back into acting, and writing, and just generally being creative. I don't want to expend huge chunks of my time and energy on something that ultimately means nothing to me.
This sounds perfectly reasonable, JZ.
Hey, subtract the cleaning, and my Thursday night is shrift's.
I would like to mention that the only reason I am cleaning is because I am picking up people from the airport tomorrow. Otherwise I would totally be wallowing.
You know you don't have to clean on my account.
I feel pretty set about saying no to the job...if I can get the same money doing something else that won't be as taxing, it's a simple decision.
That's the perfect thing, then. Above and beyond paying the rent and buying groceries, and no matter how much you adore your kids, you need some brainspace and some energy left for *you* and the things you love to do.
Kathy, people that don't watch Countdown might think we're totally making it up but I predict "Paternity Puppet Theater" at least.
Four More Years!(Excuse me but it's contract day and I haven't gotten to say "Four more years" in a happy tone since '96.)
Sorry, JZ, hope things get better soon.
And remember that most of the crap you worry about doesn't happen.
Hey, shrift, where are you reading about Chicago gangs? I feel the need to get educated.
That's the stuff that really matters, the loss of competence that I feel deeply.
It comes back. It really, really does.
