"Eh, hello?"

"What is the nature of your emergency, please?"

"Train derailment."

"I'm sorry, what? Where are you?"

"Train derailment. Somebody put a penny on the tracks. I'm sorry, I gotta get off the phone! I just realized it's time to gas up my 200mpg car!"

is it just me or is the link under "History" broken?

[No, it's broken. That's a John H. link from days of yore. I dunno if anybody has history docs still. Do we? I edited the link out. If we have some docs, I'll stick it back under there.]

I miss the map

Yes, and hte award for Looking Stupid In Public goes to . . . Me! I could have sworn it wasn't there the last time I looked for it.

[The history was all originally in...Natter I think. So we just have to find the right archived Natter thread. DXM?]

[Not in Natter. It was in Buffy Backstory over at WX. I actually did go into the archives about a year ago, and recreated the history file, but then I saw something shiny and forgot all about it. I'll try to put it up today. If I can find the frelling archives ftp password...]

[Okay, it's up. [link] I also put the link back into the header.]

[DX is my hero!]

"Hello, customer service?"

"Yes? How can I help you?"

"I need to reorder all my credit cards?"

"Oh, have you been the victim of fraud?"

"No, my eelskin wallet has suddenly degaussed them. All."

"..."

"Also, do you know who I should recall to report the sudden vast overpopulation due to the current population of the world being greater than all the people who have ever lived? 'Cause that's kinda a hassle. And we're getting short on natural resources. Somebody should do something, you know."

"..."

Capt. Charpe and Sgt. Chopper walked purposefully up a long, winding road through the forest in Greenwood.

"My feet are killin' me, sir, and it's no lie. Why's the bloody castle have to be all the way out here."

"You've grown soft, Pit, now yer an orc of luxury in the big city. Would you like us to get you one of those bi-cycle things like DX rides if your feet hurt so much after just a little bit of a walk through the woods. And would you prefer Gudanov do his bleedin' experiments in the middle of Weiler Square? I'm just as happy he is way out here."

"Aye, sir, you make a good point. Still, it is a long way to walk. It was so much easier when we were barracked out here in Greenwood, before they moved the Yard to Blackwood Parish. Why can't we get the city to buy us a vehicle or two for Watch business? Every other big city and small town has 'em. I've seen 'em on the television at Milo's, always chasin' around with them fancy lights on. And sirens, sir. They have sirens."

"Pit, you don't know how to drive."

"I can learn, sir. Or one of the human watchmen can drive."

"Pity you fed the last human watchman we had to a giant alligator."

"You didn't like him much, either, sir."

"That's beside the point, sergeant. It's hard to attract new recruits to the Watch if you and the lads keep puttin' 'em in hospital once they're in. You can't be as rough with the other races as you would orcs. They're not equipped for it."

"Aye, sir. Their bones do break easy. I'll tell the boys to go a bit gentler with 'em."

"Good, and I'll talk to the Watch Oversight Board about a vehicle. Ah, there's the castle."