Well, I would, but there aren't any conveinent stakes and I'm not sure where the heart of a house is, so it'll just have to stay undead for now.

t giggles

My hand touches a piece of paper in my pocket. I don't remember having placed it there, but one knows what they say about stranger thing, especially in Sang Sacre.

The handwriting is my own, the message is not.

I will need meat by Monday. And I always need the exercise. I don't think any of the wildlife has been shot before. I hope they don't decide to retaliate.

Hmmm. I don't recall buying an answering machine, but there it is, blinking away. Still no phone, though.

Yay, ita! Although her tone is a bit ominous. I think I'll bring my bow and snares, just in case the woods object to anything noisy.

Memo to self: Buy a spit.

So, now...what next?

Ah, yes. That "Penny B." evidently had need of a wizard. This doesn't feel like "Yoiks, dear sir, I'm being haunted by interdimensional undead Amway salesmen with a taste for human bile" or whatnot. I relax a bit before I sit before my scrying mirror. Probably no gibbons.

Someone, presumably this "Penny B." appears to be preparing for mayhem. Hm. Maybe it's gibbons after all.

I'll do the old flaming-letters-on-the-wall trick, I guess, to find out what she wants.

I watch in the black mirror as "What can Miracleman do for you today?" appears in livid infernal letters on her wall.

Firey letters appear on my wall. "What can Miracleman do for you today?"

Since I didn't ask for his help- and when I needed it, I went for fainting into his arms- I guess that he's got a crossed ley-line somewhere. I pull a small mirror out of my pocket, and do a quick scry. Penny B. Now where does she live?

Oh- they are appearing on her wall- but they're on mine as well. Tricky wizard is using my house as an intermediate point! He's sending his message along the ley lines (as one normally does) but then he's using my wall to change the direction!

I might have to do something about that. Stealing bandwidth isn't nice.

When I go out for that hotdog, I'll ask around. See if there's anyone else around who's looking to take over the world and crush wizard-kind in the process.

Oh, heck. You go out for a few days and the messages back up. This one is on my wall in fiery letters. The letters vanish upon reading. Cool. Fortunately, I'm ready. Field testing went well in dry, rushing water and even snow conditions.

I grab a piece of hand made paper from the big table and scrawl a note. "Dear Miracleman,

I would like to meet with you Tuesday afternoon at your quarters, if that is convenient. I shouldn't need more than 20 minutes of your time, and I think our meeting will be mutually beneficial. Don't worry about direction - I will find you."

I fold the note into a paper airplane and fling it out the window. It glides down the block rather purposefully and disappears around a corner.

Satisfied with business for the time being, I haul in my new spit. It needs seasoning, but should be ready for a turkey or any other medium-sized beast by Monday.

Gauntlets, check Weapons, check Ritual sacrifice paraphernalia, check Boots, ropes, snares, check.

Okay, now all I have to do is grab the wine and the cold lunch, and I'm outta here. I hope ita hasn't been waiting long.

"Ow! Godsdamnit, what the fu--?"

Oh. It's a paper airplane. Probably a message. Fine, fine.

Paper airplanes are a time-honored and accepted method for delivering messages in magical areas. There was a brief time when owls were fashionable, but the drawback of scraping owl crap off your latest treatise on, say, Koboldean creation mythos or manticore anatomy made that method unpopular rather quickly.

I unfold the message and read. Tuesday. I check my schedule. Yeah, I'm clear Tuesday. I scrawl as much at the bottom of the letter and re-fold it into a plane. I launch it out the window and watch it zip away with a miniature jet-like noise.

I only half hope it beans Penny B. mildly painfully in the ear. I'm trying to be less crotchety.

I pat myself down for weapons, and am pleased. Strap on a couple more knives (silent velcro is a gift from gods), and a bow, and I'm ready to meet Penny.

Hmmm. Bit chilly here - maybe I should open the wine? Although it wouldn't do to meet ita half sloshed, and I am such a lightweight these days.

Aha! There she is, absolutely covered in silver jewelry. No, my mistake, covered in knives. I clean my glasses and beckon her to the rather nice shrubbery where I've been waiting for turkeys.