I know you want conversaton stiffled on the topic, but I have spent a lot of time formulating my thoughts and I would like to share. Is it alright if I do?

(Edit: I know opinions are always welcome, but if the topic is closed I don't see a need to reopen it.)

I know you want conversaton stiffled on the topic, but I have spent a lot of time formulating my thoughts and I would like to share. Is it alright if I do?

I was kidding about the stifling. If you have things to say, this is the place. I'm not the arbiter of anything. Just urging things towards conclusion. But if you've got something to contribute please do.

OK, you asked for it!

I have been reading this discussion all day, waiting until I could get enough time to get all my thoughts down before I posted on the matter.

1) I love the Buffista community. I love it so much I want to build a Cape Cod cottage with a white picket fence in this community and send my hypothetical children to the Buffista Public School District. I usually feel like the new neighbor who’s too afraid to go to the community 4th of July bash for fear I will be rejected, but I occasionally step out onto my patio and try to make conversation. I still feel like a member of the community, just a really shy one. I’ve never been one to introduce myself; I prefer to just jump in when it feels right. Maybe that’s been part of my problem. (Hi, I’m Kim.)

2) Saying that, one of the first things I ever learned about participating in on-line groups was that you must learn the group before you enter it. I have taken the time to get to know this community and pay attention to what goes on here. M. clearly never took the time to get to know the community before posting. His first post was directly to Joss, as though Joss posts here all the time. Had he bothered to read even posts from a few days prior, he would have seen discussion about concerns of a sudden influx of members who wanted only to converse with Joss. Lo and behold…. M.’s second post was to insult Allyson. Allyson, she who is forever Buffista in my eyes. While a new poster, who knew nothing about the community, might have been offended by Allyson’s post, one who knew the community would have understood the joke, would have understood Allyson’s attitude, and would have understood Allyson’s incredible stress. We, as members of the community, understood all those things. A new poster, who was concerned about fitting in with the community, would have stepped back to evaluate the situation and try to determine why Allyson’s post was not regarded with more hostility within the community. (I personally thought it was very funny and right in line with everything that had been discussed in previous days.)

3) As time went on, it became clear to me that M. had no interest in becoming a part of the community. I honestly expected him to get bored and leave. He continually rejected the community standards explained to him, further demonstrating his lack of understanding of the environment we were trying to foster. He would have left eventually, one way or another. The stompy feet just took the initiative to expedite things to alleviate bad karma.

4) In hindsight, I probably did something that to some degree or another may have added fuel to the fire by posting the NY Times circulation statistics. I was personally bothered by a “fact” M. stated about the Times relevance. I didn’t want to get overly involved, so I did a minor bit of research that I thought might be helpful to the debate. No one responded to the information I posted, so I thought everyone had just moved on and chose to not follow up with any further explanation. If this in anyway aggravated the situation, I am truly sorry.

Bottom line for me is that I wish all new posters were as conscientious as Darrien has been. (Ten hours!?!) Since there are going to be times when that doesn’t happen, I think the policies in place are well thought out and very fair.

P.S. I don’t mind Lyra Jane counting my new thread opinion as a “yes” vote. In fact you can consider this as an official “yes” vote.

Nice post, JustKim! I'll be coming over to your cape Cod any time now to drink cocoa and gossip.

I love the Buffista community. I love it so much I want to build a Cape Cod cottage with a white picket fence in this community and send my hypothetical children to the Buffista Public School District.

Yep, that's how I feel too. Thanks Kim, and the politeness that you asked before posting your excellent post is what makes you a Buffista in my view. Yes, we are winding down the m discussion because we have so many more pleasant things to discuss. Yay!

Will the music thread be accepting of people who really, really like '80s power ballads by big-haired rock bands? 'Cause, really, Bon Jovi, I still dig them.

justkim - I don't think your stats exacerbated the situation in any way. I remember I was glad you posted them at the time. Post more! 4th of July is a block party, you can't avoid it, can't drive past it because we've got the wooden saw horses blocking the intersection.

---

Music thread? Making like Yma Sumac?

Actually, I really like the 'something to sing about' one.

eta...

Oh.. wait another suggestion, from Joss's OMWF shooting script:

The music (and who can blame it) rises!

Frig - I can't re-edit that post..

The correct Jossism is actually: The music (and who can blame it) swells!

I've read through the whole last few days' thread and agree with Mieskie's banning, but there was something that's been on my mind the past month or so. Michael's a jerk but he's also a contrarian, one who plays Devil's Advocate as a way to debate. And I have a little of that too.

In early December, Victor posted a political parody song which I thought was sort of irresponsible and I protested mildly: Caroma "Natter V. Natter [closed]" Dec 7, 2002 12:55:20 pm EST

Things escalated as Victor and I and later Gar started trading back facts and figures. I started getting a little tetchy with Gar especially: Caroma "Natter V. Natter [closed]" Dec 8, 2002 1:01:20 am EST

I went too far when I teased him in a way that he could easily swallow but didn't fit in with the Board culture: Caroma "Natter V. Natter [closed]" Dec 8, 2002 7:54:21 am EST

...and so I banned myself from Natter for good: Caroma "Natter V. Natter [closed]" Dec 9, 2002 4:52:15 pm EST

Fine. I couldn't keep up anyway, and the only thing I miss are the wonderful Emmett stories. Hope the little guy's doing well.

But...I did get a whiff of playing favorites there. I also sensed a sort of groupthink that bothered me, sort of a sense of moral superiority on the Board--if you don't agree with all the headlines in 'Mother Jones', well, just keep your opinions to yourself, you oppresser you, we don't want to hear it.

It was weird, since I'd contributed to religious and other threads on controversial topics before without managing to get into such trouble. Again, it was my fault entirely; I went too far and got too personal in my frustration, and got my Board personality mixed up with my Usenet and Straight Dope one. And I know there's a huge variety of experiences and opinions on the Board. But sometimes I wonder if some of them are sorta afraid to contribute; the politics, esp. in Natter, can be very very strong one way. Maybe a separate politics thread, or Current Events one? I might be the only one driven from Natter by the politics, but I'll bet I'm not the only one made uncomfortable.

I intend to continue posting in the show threads, if you'll still have me, and I've made a lot of online buddies here. I even got chastised by Joss himself! Caroma "Firefly 1: Josssssss Innnnn Spaaaaaaaaaaace! [closed]" Dec 13, 2002 1:12:48 am EST

Again, I took myself out of Natter, and it was my fault I screwed up there. But I just wanted to bring my experience to your attention. FWIW.

got my Board personality mixed up with my Usenet and Straight Dope one.

I think this is the point. Trying to establish board personality that is accepted by the community.

FWIW Caroma I have enjoyed your contributions in the show threads. I skip much of Natter so I missed the political stuff.