That said, what happens if someone gets suspended, but genuinely wants to reform their ways and rejoin the community?

They wait the 2 months and come back with a new attitude. Unless they are at the banned status, right?

I didn't vote on the music thread because I would not be a contributor but a lurker there.

On the similar names thing, can we request certain names be blocked (Hecubus or say Laura Holt)?

can we request certain names be blocked (Hecubus or say Laura Holt)?

I think our current system works fine. Whenever someone new registers, an email is sent to the admins with the user name. If any admins think the name will cause confusion, they can deactivate it and send an email to the new user asking them to change it to something else.

I think that's preferable (and a lot easier!) than trying to come up with a pre-defined list of similar names.

Cool. You admins rock.

I agree with Jon. It would be a waste of time to try to anticipate all of the possible variations of known Buffista names or nicknames.

I think that's preferable (and a lot easier!) than trying to come up with a pre-defined list of similar names.

Which is also pretty much like what we eventually desiced about writing an 'exact' etiquette - it's a lot smoother to sort things as they come along, once a basic system is decided upon, than to map out all the possible intrusive behaviors.

I've been catching up on all this, and just wanted to say how very proud I am of Buffistas, whether "old," "core," "new," "sometime," "spirit baby" or whatever.

I agree wholeheartedly with the way this situation was handled, feel, like connie and others, stomach-clenching regret that it was necessary, and that it was, indeed necessary for the quality of the community. I'm sorry I wasn't here for the decision-making, but I want my opinion on record, even after the fact.

I'm overcome with gratitude and affection for you all.

The music thing reminds me sooooo much of the old Usenet days, and in particular of the argument about the net.music (or was it rec.music by then?) split. "I want to talk about everything in one place!" "No, it's too high volume!"

Our Buffista experience is that if you build threads, they will come. I fought fiercely against creating Natter. Then I shrugged and created it. It's now our highest-volume thread. Elisabeth/Lyra Jane was right. (And the Natter continues on the other threads, which is what I was afraid of losing.)

If there's a large enough core of Buffistas who want to talk music, I don't see the harm in facilitating that -- as long as we realize that creating a music thread will automatically create more music postings than we had before, and will add a new focus to the group.

I wish I felt more regret over the idea of suspending someone, but I just don't. People who come here and end up pissing on this community inspire no regret in me at their removal.

And I don't have much of a problem with the concept of suspension/removal in general. In "real life", if I went to a restaurant and begin to dump food on other diners' heads while shouting obscenities at the top of my lungs, I'll be asked to leave because I'm violating the behavioral standards of the place. I might be a very nice person whose antipsychotics aren't working that day (and I mean that without flippancy), or maybe I'm having a really crappy life in general, but those reasons for my behavior don't change the fact that I'm violating the standards of a particular place and should be removed from it until I'm capable of adhering to its standards.

Similarly, I don't think there's any problem with upholding our standards and removing those that can't play by our rules.

I fought fiercely against creating Natter. Then I shrugged and created it. It's now our highest-volume thread. Elisabeth/Lyra Jane was right.

I am SO tempted to bookmark this message so that whenever I feel down or disrespected, I can look at it and say, "See, Betsy said I was right!"

Anyhow.

I just had a conversation with my 9-year-old son that was too apropos.

"I'm not friends with Jonathan any more. Because we kept giving him second chances, and he kept blowing them. He kept doing the same thing we asked him not to do."