Hi, kids.

I didn't want to post this while everyone was having ritual sacrifice with pie, because holidays are stressful enough even when we're having a good time.

My grandmother (mum's mum) died of pneumonia on Friday evening. I am now grandparent-less; she was the last. She had been living with congestive heart failure for 14 years; she wrote her heart surgeon a lovely letter four years ago, thanking him for a wonderful ten years she would not have had otherwise. She was 90 years old and "not wanting to stay in the game too long," but she was having wonderful, lucid, and intelligent conversations up until the week before she died. She got to meet her latest great-grandchild, born 6 October, and hear him named for the husband she lost so suddenly thirty-two years ago.

If I have treated any of you with kindness and with love, it is because this woman taught me how to see things from another's point of view, how to love people even when you don't understand them, and the crucial importance of recognising your own prejudices and working to overcome them. I owe her an unpayable debt; the most I can hope for is to share the love that she showed me with the people around me, and encourage them to love just as fearlessly and fiercely.

I will miss her terribly. But love is stronger than even death; what she has given me can never be taken away. I'm always willing to talk about her, to keep her memory alive; email me at my profile address if you want to know more.

The paper I cowrote this summer was accepted for publication in the International Journal of Mathematics and Mathematical Sciences.

Those patented Buffistas vibes are requested for central Ohio today, where my 4 month old niece is having a kidney removed because it is not functioning. While, viva human bilateral symmetry, she'll probably have a perfectly uneventful life, surgery in the wee is still scary. So please, extra vibes to my SIL who is especially worried and upset.

Just a quick drive by to let you all know I am still alive. I am not feeling better. The antibiotics my doctor tried did nothing, so she decided "Hey, lets do another ultrasound!" If I decide to go forward with it (the appointment is Thursday), it will be my third in the last month. I'm extremely frustrated, and thus have decided to seek a second opinion. I'm going to a new doctor in about half an hour, hopefully he'll think of something to do besides ordering useless repetitive tests and telling me to rest. I am so sick of feeling sick and in pain.

Hugs and love to everyone, and extra hugs to those who need them most. Special thanks to Ellen for sending me Angel and chocolate, to DX for the surprise package of delicious chocolate, and to Susan W. for her secret santa present that arrived yesterday. And to Sumiko for sending me regular "Are you alive" emails. Buffistas are the best, I am so lucky to have each and every one of you. I hope to be back around more soon, but at this point I am hardly even working, as I get tired really really quickly and spend a whole lot of time sleeping. But I am thinking of you guys, and hope everyone had a good holiday.

Love and kisses to all of you.

Very small drive by to say I'm back. Home is a beautiful place.

My MRI came back. Completely normal. (Apparently they can't detect gay vampire snuff porn with current equipment.)

I realize that you are all likely as tired of hearing me whine as I am of doing the whining, but I wanted to let you know how yesterday's appointment went. The new doctor has a very take charge kind of attitude, and I have high hopes that she will get to the bottom of this. I had a CBC yesterday, and I have an ultrasound on Thursday and a colonoscopy on Friday. Hopefully SOMETHING will give her the clue she needs to diagnose this and make it go away. We discussed a number of possible ailments, ranging from BIG SCARIES to silly little nothings. I'm sticking with the silly little nothings.

In the meantime, I have been feeling awful. I have no energy, I'm feverish off and on, and after a particularly clumsy encounter with my cat yesterday, in which I nearly broke BOTH of our necks, I am in even more pain than I have been. My spirits are lower than low, as I am just SO FRUSTRATED. This probably isn't even anything big, but it has kept me sick for five weeks now, and I want my life back. Somebody fix it? Please?

Numfar, do the dance of TRUDY HAS AN APARTMENT!

My papa had a stroke. Collective prayers are appreciated. Don't know how he is, the message was on my voicemail when i got home, and everyone is asleep, now, and i don't know what hospital he is in.