I'm just the setup. Scola and Jess bring the funny:

Sean K:

Okay, I plugged in my iPhone to charge over night, and then slept for eight and a half hours.

It's only 2/3 charged.

That does not seem right.

Tom Scola:

8½ hours of sleep per night is perfectly normal.

Jessica:

Dear everyone without babies,

I hate you all.

Love, Jess

Toddson: you know, it may be that when I can recognize a Buffista in a photo that doesn't include their head, I may have been hanging around here too much.

Sue : There is a Golden Retriever in my dining room that my neighbor and I found wandering the busy street by my house. The damn thing is trying to bond with me so I don't call animal control.

Make it stop looking at me with those eyes!

Kat : Damn.

I'm making myself hungry now.

Jesse in non-fiction (because it would be a shame if no one else saw it)

OMG, someone just forwarded me a job posting for executive director of Tyra's T-Zone Foundation.... "I have two proposals before me, but only one check in my hands..."

I have to immortalize Liese's story from Natter:

So...Barbie decapitation, huh? I'm guessing that means the Barbie heads can go back on, right? I must share my childhood tale of woe.

I had a nice brunette Barbie (I'm sure it wasn't Barbie, but Margaret or something) that I liked very much. I also had a blonde Barbie that I didn't like as well, partially because I thought she had an entitled look on her face. Also, her silver dress was not as aesthetically pleasing. Anyway, one day, I was playing (rather roughly, as I did) with her, and I accidentally broke her head off.

This was deeply traumatizing and I hid the body under my bed. And then (and this will tell you the sort of child I was) I prayed long repentant prayers asking God to please restore the mutilated body of my Barbie. For weeks.

He did not, so eventually, I confessed my crime to my mother who, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure laughed heartily, and that was that.

But see, I didn't know the heads went back on. So now I'm thinking God was going, "What're you asking me for? Stick the thing back on yourself!"

eta: Which I think probably he says a lot.

From Lightbulbs...

Teppy: So, the Firefly thread is (for some) like the old sweater that your SO used to wear all the time until you stole borrowed it, and you still have it even though you broke up, like, 4 years ago, and you almost never think of it, but when you do think of it, you like to pull it out of the closet/trunk/storage and smell it just to see if it still smells like your SO, and even if it doesn't, you still love the sweater despite the fact that it's old and has holes and a strange pattern?

And others (like me) think that sending the sweater to Goodwill is an act of kindness. But doing that would be mean and traumatic, so the sentimental sweater-lovers probably should get to keep their sweater.

Fair enough. Carry on.

Ginger: Maybe I'd feel better if I cleaned out that trunk.

Dana: If there are people who will use the thread and want to keep it open (and several of them have already spoken up), then I don't see any pressing reason to take it away from them.

Teppy: Uh, isn't that what we did with SPN?

I'm not trying to open up a can of kerfluffle, but that's pretty much what we did with SPN. The SPN fans said, "We like it in Boxed Set!" but we ("we" meaning "the majority of those who voted") still said, "We hear you, but sorry, you don't get it the way you want it."

megan walker: Well, I don't read Boxed Set, but my interpretation of that discussion was more like trying to fit two sweaters into one drawer where there wasn't really room.

Teppy: Fair point. Perhaps I just require knitwear metaphors for things to make sense to me.

(The label in the sweater said "100%...*acrylic*.")

Liese: Hey, man...if you want to destroy this sweater, just hold this thread while I walk away.

megan walker: And I'll soon be naked?

...

Also from Lightbulbs...

Ailleann: I'm not in favor of future Firefly discussion getting swallowed up. (Gotta say, I suggested it as a joke, but a "Brilliant But Cancelled" thread might be neat... of course, then you run the risk of being spoiled for shows you haven't watched, but might intend to watch in the future. See: me and Veronica Mars.)

Dana: You know we'd spend three months arguing about what constitutes "brilliant."

Sophia Brooks: We'd probably argue about what constitutes "cancelled"....

Dana: And what counted as "aired."

Heroes Spoilery

kat perez: I've realized that I have no interest in Peter among the oirish if he insists on remaining fully clothed.

Gudanov: You know it's fine cooking when the recipe includes the words "dump the bag".

ita in Natter (who needs context?):

Stopped at a crosswalk to let a bunch of schoolkids cross, and as soon as I came to a full and final stop I thought "Fuck. I hope there's no cow."

Aimée: Em is going as Sleeping Beauty and I made a Maleficent costume for me.

Although, in the future, I should not hem a dress at 6:30 in the morning. The front of her dress is longer than the back.

Toddson: Aimee, I can't think of anything requiring muscle control that should be done at 6:30 in the morning.

brenda m: Well maybe one thing.