Perkins in Natter: (context? we don't need no stinkin' context!)

WooHoo, it's just about shoot the cat, go back to sleep time.

In Bitches...

JZ: At long last, I've passed an important gestational milestone... I've finally been the recipient of a series of completely inane remarks by a total stranger.

Getting onto the elevator just now. Older man smiles broadly at me and says, "Well, look at you! You must have swallowed a watermelon seed!"

"Um, yeah, looks like," I said, because I am reflexively polite and responsive to grandpa-aged men.

"Didn't your mother teach you that you have to spit them out?"

"Um, well, I know that now," I said lamely, while every woman in the elevator rolled her eyes and every other man tried to pretend he was on another elevator in another state.

"Ha-ha, when I was a little boy that's what my mother always told me would happen if I swallowed a watermelon seed!" [Please, God, shut me the fuck up before I say something awful about spitting vs. swallowing] "But I'm not such a little boy anymore, and I know it takes a little bit more than a watermelon seed to make that happen, ha-ha!" And he stared at me with an indescribable grandfatherly leer on his face as though I were supposed to say something in response to that.

Which I didn't. But I thought, "You are so right, sir -- actually, it was my husband's cock." And then for one horrible, frozen moment, the terrible conviction washed over me that in fact I had said it, out loud and all. Which, apparently not, as I'm here at my desk and not being fired and frogmarched off campus.

It was an interesting experience. I suppose I can look forward to more of them, and more inane, as I expand. Whee!

-t: I have the capability of making penguin-shaped jello shots. I need to do that sometime.

amych in Bitches:

People, don't trust the marsupials. I know they're quirky and fascinating in evolutionary terms, but they're organized, and they're coming for you.

In Movies:

ita:

I blanch at the idea of another set top box.

Matt the Bruins fan:

Isn't your home entertainment system already at risk of attaining sentience and naming itself SKYNet?

From Great Write Way...

Ginger: I do read a lot of children's and young adult books. I think of them and mysteries as the last bastions of the plot. It is possible that they are just the last bastions of plots I can follow, but I try not to think about that.

another Matt TBF, this time from the fic thread:

Then decided I'd better just give it up before the winged unicorns arrived to whisk everyone away to Big Rock Candy Mountain.

The Epic Battle of shrift and the toilet (in Natter):

shrift (12:17PM):

Dear Toilet,

Why do you hate me?

bailing water,

shrift

shrift (1:15PM):

Dear Toilet,

Will it ever be safe to flush you?

despairing,

shrift

shrift (1:38PM):

Dear Toilet,

I'll keep plunging you if you promise it will all be okay in the end.

wearily,

shrift

shrift (1:55PM):

I mean, how long do you have to plunge a toilet before the bitch gives in?!

shrift (2:06PM):

My roommate just got back, and we tried some crazy, last-ditch plunging. Then called a plumber. And now it looks like the mad, mad plunging may have fixed it.

sumi:

So basically, you should have called the plumber, then done some light plunging and it would have all been fine.

shrift:

Yep. I plunged my entire afternoon, and all I got was this flushing toilet.

Aimee in GWW. Ahhhhh, the writer's life....

I've been writing drabbles too long. I'm staring at this paper that needs to be 750 words thinking to myself, "But I can make my point in 100 words or less!! This goes against my recent rules of writing!!!"

Cass in Bitches, musing wistfully upon her allergies:

Why must the pretty city try to kill me with plant sex?