In Bitches:

JZ: I would tell 2005 to kiss my ass, but 2005 is unworthy of my ass. 2005 can go kiss Tom Delay's indicted ass, is what it can kiss.

Almare explains some nuances of Egyptian Theology in Bitches. (my own contribution is needful for context):

Almare (in the midst of describing the touring Tutenkahmun exhibit she's recently visited):

...Was highly offended bythe Museum calling Osiris the High Lord of the Underworld. It was probably because of my deep and unhealthy love of Anubis. It's not that I get turned on by half-humans or anything, it's just there was thisone time, with a statue, and he looked really pretty and he does have the nicest fur, and I am heading towards dangerous territory so I am stopping.

Fay

? But...but he was, wasn't he? No disrespect to Anubis, who's one of my favourite Egyptian deities, but he was in charge of mummification and of leading the soul to its place of judgment, wasn't he? Whereas Osiris got to sit around looking important (and bitter about the whole no-penis thing) while Anubis had lots of actual work to do.

Almare

See, that sort of thing drives me mad. Because, before Osiris died, Anubis was all the main honcho. Then Osiris lost his penis and Anubis was all, -blink- You're dead and have no penis. How'd that happen?

And Osiris was like, Shut up. I have to redecorate. To which Anubis was respectful and said, Uh, you do remember this is my domain, right? To which Osiris laugh and laugh and laugh and demoted Anubis.

And now Anubis runs around in the skimpy outfit, doing all the work involved with ruling the underworld, while Osiris gets the sparkly crown and the jewels, and the pimp canes. Osiris reaps all kinds of benefits, but what does Anubis get? A footnote. I know I should pity the penis-less god, but I have too much love for Anubis.

Oh, but Fay, Almare ain't done yet.

Fay:

Horrifyingly, with the newly-discovered Oz-like laconicness & blinking, and the skimpy outfit, I find myself actually on board the fancying Anubis Train. Damn.

Almare:

See, most people think it's about the Jackal, but it's not. It's all about the head, really, and the brains and the courage to work for a complete ninny that really doesn't have any balls. He has the Ultimate Knowledge any other judge type god has, because he used to be judge, jury, and executioner! ((Let's be nice and ignore the fact that mostly he's just the Baliff and the Janitor now))

Plus, the area below the neck is super super pretty. He has a shiny model body, with Rodney McKay's brain, and pretty Jackal head. The only downside to his skimpy outfit, is there isn't a breeze in the Underworld. On the otherhand, when he's anywhere else, he's all "Whoops," and "Hello Mr. President." It's rather pleasant, really. But no pinching the cheeks, because he is Rodney McKay, and will bludgeon you to death with Theoretical Physics until you apologize and remember to keep the hands away from his ass vacinity.

Additional, he's super powerful, super cool, and his wife is totally cool with having an open relationship half the time, and rather Anya-ish the other half of the time, so he's definately hetero, unlike some of the other Gods out there, and Loki, you totally know this is a shout out to you, you weird "I Love Everything that Has A Pulse" firestarting freak.

EDIT: Loki, serious, I don't care how good that...whatever was in bed, no one else is crazy enough to touch your daughter's mother.

EDIT2: How were you able to even create Fenrir?

EDIT3: I take it back, I don't want to know. You have a worse taste in sex than Zeus, and dude, you know that guy does.

EDIT4: But not first hand I hope, because disturbingly enough, he is your type.

EDIT5: I am in a very very bad place right now, so I'm stopping!

Almare:

The minister might have been a really really terrifying and evil Scarlett Macaw so er, I may have possibly developed an irrational fear of skinny ministers with big teeth and lurching movements that, could possibly be why I am no longer Welcome at the Vatican.

tommyrot: Umm... so a group of college students on Ohio State University went around with supersoakers filled with oil, anointing as much of the university as they could in order to claim it for God.

Jessica: What, were they out of flags?

ita: We should be thankful they seemed to be out of pee.

I HAD to make sure this ended up immortalized. Deena, reporting on her adorable evil genius:

For your entertainment:

Kara, at dinner last night, to Nick, sitting beside her:
I am a pretty princess pony!
Nick: Good for you.
Kara: Good for you pretty princess pony!
Nick: Yeah.
Kara: What pony are you?
Nick: I am not a pony. I am a man!
Kara: I know, I know, you're man-pony!
Nick: No. Don't go there. (to me) stop laughing!
Kara: I shall call you schmacky. Schmacky the Man-pony.
Nick: Oh no.
Kara: I know! I shall call you Man-aise! Man-aise the Man-pony!
Nick:::speechless::
Kara: Or maybe pinkie....Pinkie Man-aise the Man-pony.
Nick: No. No. No. No. (to me) STOP LAUGHING!
Kara: (muttering) You ARE Man-aise the Man-pony.

and DCJensen filked:

Sing us a song, you're the pony-man...

Which inspired Gudanov to filk:

Who can take a meadow,
Sprinke it with dew
Cover it with hoofprints and a miracle or two...
The pony-man, the pony-man can,
The pony-man can 'cause he mixes it with love
and makes it all feel good...

and Trudy, also filking:

Cause he's a pony-man
Pony-maaaaaaaaan
Tellin' his kid sister "no you don't..."

In Natter:

Allyson:

Why am I here?

shrift:

Because everybody knows your name?

Allyson:

That's just not true.

I want the lurkers to send me supportive email. I feel as though I need some feedback. Am I entertaining you sufficiently?

I'm not as combative as I once was. Do you miss that?

Would you like to see me have a kerfuffle with any one of the following people?:

a) shrift

b) ita

c) Hec

d) lurker's choice

Topic!Cindy: Who is that great big boy? That can't be Owen. Sheesh. Maybe you ought to have a new baby. Apparently someone switched your first one with some kid.

From Natter:

tommyrot: Maybe instead of a relationship, my goal will be to be abducted by super-intelligent aliens and used as their pet.

"Aww - he's so cute when he tries to explain his species's comprehension of quantum mechanics!"

As long as they don't have drunken parties where they make fun of my lack of a Unified Field Theory....