Homeland Security solved in Natter:

DavidS: Yep. Car bomb pulls up next to a tanker truck filled with Chlorine or something flammable on a bridge or in a tunnel. How ya gonna stop that?

ita: Well, you start by making cars illegal. If that doesn't work, ban bridges or tunnels.

Rick: ita, if bridges are outlawed only outlaws will have bridges.

billytea:

I went speed dating. This is dating where if you talk below fifty words a minute, Dennis Hopper blows you up

Aw, I think it deserves the whole paragraph!

Meanwhile! I am currently twirling my moustache and enjoying my evil laugh, because apparently last night I managed to slip in, without anyone noticing, that I went speed dating. This is dating where if you talk below fifty words a minute, Dennis Hopper blows you up. No, wait, it's for people who are only looking for a quickie. Damn, I have it written down somewhere. Ok, apparently it's the opposite of carbon dating. No, wait, I'm reading my shopping list.

From All Ogle, No Cash

ita:

Ask Hec? A music question? Are you insane? I'll just make some stuff up.

I can't believe no one got here first on this one.

Cindy in Great Write Way, kindly writing the agent-requested bio of Allyson that Allyson, like every other good writer out there, totally froze on:

Allyson B_ was born of seafoam after Saturn killed Uranus and flung his genitals into the ocean. Or wait. Maybe that's Venus. Sometimes, online, it is hard to know who is who. Allyson B_ might be the girl from South Boston (Southie represent, yo!), and surrounding towns, who fell in love with a TV show, and was lured out west by axe murderers she met on the internet. She loaded up the truck and she drove to Beverly...Hills, that is. Okay, actually? West Hollywood.

People took Allyson in, gave her a place to stay, and an occasional cheeseburger, so she didn't starve to death. She got a job at big gov't. agency, and is on her way to ruling the world. She now regularly makes her rent and car payments, and everything.

shrift, in Natter:

Today's fortune cookie:

Good health is a man's best wealth.

Thank you, Count Rugen.

Raquel:

Change is good, despite what my cat says.

Plei in Bitches:

Lily's funniest expressions will never be captured on film, on account of them involving that whole Hunt for the Wild Boobie thing. She growls. I made her so she growls.

In Natter:

tommyrot : Parking is free for me at work, as work is no longer in downtown Evanston. But still, I take public transportation, because I hug trees and shit.

Gus : I do not want to hug shit. I can, however, get behind the rest of tommyrot's post.

in Minearverse:

Topic!Cindy: Tim,

I think your next series ought to be entitled, "I Never Wrote for Buffy." It should be a sitcom, but a dark one--like a serialized Heathers, or something. SMG should guest star in the pilot. Your lead character will be a writer named Tim Minear.

The premise, as the title suggests, is that fictional Tim never wrote for Buffy. However, Tim is so continually linked to/credited with writing BtVS, that even Fictional Sarah Michelle Gellar starts giving interviews, talking about working with Tim.

Soon, the SMG character turns up dead. Tim is, of course, the main suspect, but is quickly cleared, because obviously, if he's our lead in a sitcom, he is not the killer.

Each week, a new Mutant Enemy alum comes under suspicion for the murder of SMG: Alyson Hannigan, Charisma Carpenter, Seth Green, ASH, Alexis, Julie, David, James Marsters, you name it. Some of them can be killed, too. At the end of each episode, as the ME alum of the week is cleared, the running joke will be that even with all the publicity from the case, Tim is *still* linked to BtVS.

Although a TV writer by day, fictional Tim turns into an amateur detective by night, not because this case just isn't going away, but because he is obsessed with finding a way to get the press to stop perpetuating the false link between him and BtVS. Tim enlists the help of the cast of the show he is currently producing. These will be our other sitcom regulars and should include Tom Lenk, and of course, Armin Shimerman (who will be your Lou Grant character).

In the penultimate episode of the series, all signs re killing SMG will point to Joss Whedon. Maybe he'll even go to trial. But in the series finale, we'll see you, Joss, and every guest who has ever appeared, sitting in a swanky L.A. bar, watching a cop/Bronco chase on TV. The LAPD have finally caught onto and are after the real killer: Kristy Swanson.