Damn it! This is what happens when I do a cat food run; others COMM my internet wife's cool quotes.

A demonstration of why I love Buffistas so very much:

Ginger:

I like capers too, but when cleaning out the refrigerator, I'm always faced with the age-old question: can capers go bad? A jar lasts me a looong time. I'm also still trying to answer the questions "Does catsup go bad?" and "Is it safer to open the mysterious tupperware container in the back or to just leave it there?"

tommyrot:

In 6th grade I did a science experiment that involved cooking up some Knox (unflavored Jello) and putting it in a container with plastic on it so bacteria could grow on it. I set my experiment on a shelf (so bacteria could grow at room temperature)... and forgot about it.

The last day of school our teacher made us clean stuff. Someone else discovered my Knox experiment. They removed the plastic. Everyone in the area was horrified by the smell.

I was nowhere near. In fact, I was off by myself, laughing my ass off.

I was an evil boy, I tells ya.

Gus:

If Sir Alexander Fleming had had this attitude, penicillin would still be a mystery to us. (Oooh! Alt-history plot bunny!)

Of course, if Tupperware and 'fridges had been around in the 19th century...

P.M. Marcontell:

I'm also still trying to answer the questions "Does catsup go bad?"

No, because it starts that way.

tommyrot:

If television had been around during the Spanish Inquisition, there would have been some interesting reality programs.

Matt the Bruins Fan: This is like the home of my fireman friend in Mississippi, which is effectively a hunting lodge waaaaaaaay deep in the woods by a lake. I swear I hear that "pha-pha-pha" score from Friday the 13th every time I drive over there.

billytea: Matt, get yourself some new driving music. Seriously.

I love the pure anarchy of this. Steph L in Bitches, context be damned:

Don't try to herd jelly. Nail it to a tree, instead.

In Bitches, not so long ago:

Jilli

This morning, the carpool partner accidentally inhaled a bug. He made the obligatory post in LJ about it, and I posted a comment that I was gonna start calling him Renfield.

Now, the carpool partner is a nice-enough guy, but THE walking, breathing stereotypical gamer/fandom geek in that he must be pedantic about everything. His reply to my post: If I remember correctly Renfield didn't eat the bugs, he used them to attract spiders. Which he used to attract birds and was theortically working his way up to humans which he would eat. It was some form of dietary Great Chain of Being that he was working on. So, you can call me Renfield but you run the risk of being incorrect in yor labeling of me.

Silly man! Google gives me the etext of Dracula, and allows me to paste an excerpt about Renfield's bug-eating in chapter six into an LJ comment.

Trudy

I believe the correct response is. "OK, Renfield"

I can't believe this didn't get more reaction in Minearverse:

Rick V.:

I presented an interesting case to some colleagues this afternoon. Patient was Jaye T., a 24 year old single white female whose presenting problem was hallucinations in which inanimate representations of animals were talking to her. The messages from these animals are imperative, but difficult to interpret. The hallucinations were unusual for being integrated auditory/visual. The patient is apparently a heavy drinker, her family relationships are strained, and she is currently employed well below the expected level for her educational background, but she has no known history of psychiatric disturbance and her mental status was normal when observed for three one hour periods across three weeks. Recommendations were:

1. Rule out first break schizophrenia. This is the most likely diagnosis given her age and the presenting symptom. Monitor the patient for a few months and if this diagnosis is correct she will gradually show more global impairment.

2. Rule out organic brain syndrome. Medical exam and toxicology screen. Evaluate for alcohol withdrawal syndrome.

3. Evaluate possibility that patient is malingering (check for possible benefits to displaying symptoms).

4. Evaluate for factitious disorder (aka Munchausen's syndrome).

No one raised the possibility that the universe was just talking to her.

In Minearverse, first NovaChild made me laugh:

If there's a nattery topic being nattered, of course people will natter in the thread in which the natter is being nattered, despite the existence of the more appropriate Natter.

then Tim came along, being all professional writer and all:

There's nothing the matter with natter in this thread or Natter, though the latter for natter is designed for the matter of natter, while any mad hatter might rather natter in the former.

I can't believe this didn't get more reaction in Minearverse:

Rick didn't use enough little 0s and stuff.

edited to clarify snarking at the 0s, not those who are reacting to the 0s.

Nutty, in Minearverse, the New Natter:

William Wallace was illiterate, IIRC. So NSM with the haggis-writing. Although he may have used condoms; they certainly do not lack for sheep-guts in Scotland.

Although all things considered that's a lot of effort for a night of lovin'. Points for it being adorned with a ribbon; nothing says fun like a pigtailed penis.

And I loved Rick's case history, too. Silly close-minded psychiatrists.

debg posted Stephl's funny from Bitches, but I didn't do a spit take until I read billytea's take on it:

Teppy:

Except....don't try to herd jelly. Nail it to a tree, instead.

billytea:

Gotcha. Jelly is to be seen and not herd.