From the Minearverse discussion of jury duty and avoidance of same:

ita:

I could be fair. However, I'd have to spend all my time defending my life from the other jurors, who'd probably all hate me.

I have no problem with that, but from a selection point of view, it's probably simpler to reject me, than to have to use ten alternates.

Java--see Building a Better Board. Jon B turned the style of the board pink for thirty seconds.

Nutty's Fifth Rule of Buffistadom:

strive ceaselessly to groom one another verily like unto monkeys, preferably the nice soft giggly kind and not the kind that throws its shit at people in the zoo.

(Best clarification ever.)

I'd like the whole thing immortalized. More lauding of the Nutty yet Vehement one:

RESOLVED: that all Buffistas shall forthwith, unto the ending of the world, (1) strive to speak and listen with a minimum of obnoxiousness, and with a maximum of empathy; (2) consider before posting anything, and double on anything composed under circumstances of high emotion; (3) acknowledge that word choice, phrasing, amount and extent of quoted material, and even those stupid emoticons constitute "tone" as practiced in an online environment, and that the sum definition of "tone" as set forth herein matters; (4) speak outright and specifically any resentments, dislikes, grudges and feelings, or not speak about them at all, an honest debate being greatly preferred to a veiled one; and (5) strive ceaselessly to groom one another verily like unto monkeys, preferably the nice soft giggly kind and not the kind that throws its shit at people in the zoo.

thanks, Hec, I was just coming to do that.

thanks, Hec, I was just coming to do that.

I know, I purposefully scurried over to beat you.

JZ:

I am sneaking a break from playtime with Emmett, which has been going on nearly nonstop ever since he discovered a couple of evenings ago that I can do voices and improv snarky dialogue and bitter fights. (Almost literally nonstop--I get up at 6:30 a.m. to putter around in the kitchen, and suddenly he's at my elbow, wide awake and saying eagerly, "Can we play?")

I'm now trapped in an endless loop of playing quarrelsome identical twins lost somewhere on a limitless field of seething hot magma and sniping at each other, while he listens and smiles and smiles. I love Emmett and it's unbelievably flattering to have him seek me out and want to spend time playing with me and me alone, but I HATE THE MAGMA FIELD.

As do we all.

The board blushed! I love it.

KristinT:

One other funny jury story. One of my friends gets called for jury duty. He fills out the juror info form. In the space for hobbies, he lists "LARP" since he plays a game most every weekend when it's warm.

So he gets on the stand for his voir dire. The lawyers start asking about other aspects of his background; everything seems to be going well. Eventually, they get to hobbies. The defense lawyer looks puzzled, then asks, "So what exactly is LARP?"

Chris perks right up, thrilled to be asked. "LARP? Well, it stands for Live Action Role Playing. A whole bunch of us get together in the middle of the woods and dress up in costumes and armor and stuff and run around with swords and pretend to kill each other!"

He pauses, smiles, and delivers the final blow. "I'm an elf!"

He did not serve in that jury.

Not sure if this is funny without the whole story, but...(and I'm just the set-up) In Natter, Me: Yeah, bt, {Homicide fans} think you rule. Billytea: I have minions! With an abiding interest in violent crime! This could come in handy. EDITOR'S NOTE :Abiding doesn't cover it. They know every blood spot in Balmer.ET fix punctuation mistyped by editor.