Only because I thought Allyson's post was super gracious. :)

t /natter

Miracleman reminisces about the great gerund wars:

Must have been, oh...ought two or ought three. Me and the squad were in the thick of it, right outside this little hamlet in the middle of enemy territory.

It was colder'n a witch's tit. Tommy Robeson...he was from Tupelo, we'd come up through boot together...we were huddled in a foxhole waiting for the word to come down the line. We were under-equipped and we knew it. We only had a couple of Strunks. Jonesy had a 10C he'd picked up off a Grammarian lieutenant, but that was it.

Sarge came down and told us we were goin' in at 0400. Me, Tommy, Jonesy and the Wichita boys were to sweep in from the north. Me and Tommy shared a smoke while we waited.

0400 and we went over. We didn't get twenty feet afore the enemy hit us. They knew we were comin', they hadda. They lit the area with glaring logic and unloaded irrefutable reference at us. Jonesy got off a couple good ones with the 10C but went down quick. He didn't even have a chance to scream.

Me and Tommy made it to the middle of town and scrambled for cover in the library. Tommy found him a Shertzer "Elements", but we never had time to use it. The bastards parsed the whole building.

I woke up in an enemy POW camp. They kept me awake for four days, making me write essay after essay, critiquing and making me re-write. Hell, I tell you. Finally the camp was raided and I was sent home.

I still wake up screamin' some nights...

Fie on thee, wee ammitch! Beat me to it!

Gus, Natter:

Trudy, I would say "You can play with my Wiki anytime," but have a fear that the sheer pressure on your straight-line reflex might cause you some injury.

flea: You people with the freak-ass toes - that's nothing to be proud of. You're creeping me out, even when you're not using your freaky toes as weapons.

Java cat: I say "fack" for FAQ, too. How do you say URL? I spell it. Is it supposed to be "Earl"?

P M Marcontell: Say it "Earl", and I will fack your shit up, damn it.

Erin in Lit'ry:

Just because you called me "Sweetpeach."

I'm a cheap ho for fruit endearments.

Just about choked on a green bean ... in Boxed Set:

DavidS: Did Ple put Woobie into Gus' wiki yet?

KaterinaBee:

My St. Paddy's Day Leprechaun recipe: First, pour a Guinness into the cook. Second, slice a nice fresh leprechaun into fine slices. Third, dredge in flour, fourth: pan-fry in butter until a deep golden brown. Then throw the leprechaun to the pets and have another Guinness.

Kathy Astrom: Is Irish Lasagna made with pesto sauce instead of tomato?

DavidS: It's made with ground leprechaun.

Gus: Here we go. Now there will be three days on the best brand of leprechaun grinder. (Braun, by the way, is my pick.)

msbelle: leprechauns are too bitter, but gnomes mmmmm.

David S: If you poach the leprechaun first, it leeches much of the bitterness out.

amych: Piffle. Braun and Krups are fine for grinding coffee and whole spices, but for leprechaun, nothing beats the KitchenAid rainbowgrinding attachment.

Unless you're gonna be one of those insufferable purist types who insists on nothing but a hand-cranked mythological-creature mill.

David S: I had one of those until I made a salsa with a chupacabra. Gummed up the works.

Gus: Oh, I mean, the Krups leprechaun grinder has is its nicer points. It is really more of a chopper, though. Your hardy back-country leprechauns are going to need a good burr grinder, to get the texture right. IMHO

David S: Again, poaching or braising takes care of this issue. Though also, I prefer a coarsely ground leprechaun. The mouthfeel is better.

Miracleman: Feh on all of you and your newfangled gimcrackery for grinding leprechauns.

A machete and an eight-pound maul.

More fun, better exercise and I like the way you get the "They're after me Lucky Chaaaiiiee-- "*THWACK*!!

*sigh* I love the holidays.

David S: Sure if you want chicken fried leprechaun, that's fine. But what about if you'd like a cornish pasty filled with tasty hot-spiced 'chaun?

Mirackeman: Then you just need a lighter touch with the maul.

It's an art and a science, my friend.

ita: No one likes to crack the bones open and suck out 'chaun marrow?

David S: Raised by diplomats and scientists, but she's still a country girl at heart.

Beverly: Only if we get to use the silver 'chaun crackers and marrow spoons.

Jilli VoiceOfReason: Do you know how hard a set of those is to find? Even eBay doesn't have them. It's very sad.

Personally, I'm more for slicing off the tops of their skulls and eating the brains. mmmm, 'chaun brains.

Gus:

But what about if you'd like a cornish pasty filled with tasty hot-spiced 'chaun?

Well, then you have to go with shredded. Now, your 'chaun shredders from KitchenAide ... I'll go the mat on that one. None better.

Kathy Astrom: "There's only one way to cook a brace of 'chauns!"

[Later, while 'chaun stew is cooking over the open fire]

"What I wouldn't give for a few good taters...the only thing to eat with 'chaun stew."

ita: What's taters?

Aimée: PO-TAY-TOES!

ita: Well, I do appreciate a good raw and wriggling leprechaun, don't get me wrong.

Raquel: The rock and pool is nice and cool, so nice for feet! I only wan' (whack) to catch a 'chaun (whack), so juicy sweet! (whack whack)

Steph L.: I eat my leprechauns raw. The way the REAL Irish folk do.

Ginger: Ah, St. Patrick's Day with the Buffistas.

I'm having corned beef and cabbage. If I'd wanted leprechaun, I would have had to put it in the oven earlier. I think long slow baking is the trick.

(edited because I should be sober enough to spell leprechaun)