erinaceous, on shopping strategies:
Or you could just get a personal shopper at Nordies. That's what they do. It's the shopping equivalent of having them hold the tiger while you shoot it, but sometimes you just want the rug without the drama, y'know?
Connie in Sang Sacre on the Battle of Christmastown:
Oh, the snowmanity.
Made me crack up.
Shrift:
An example of the cheery being inflicted on me:
Boss: GOOD MORNING!
Me:
t mumble
G'morning.
Boss:
t leans close
Did you say good morning?
Me: Yes?
Boss:
t sing-song
I didn't HEAR you!
Me:
t recoils in terror
further on the same conversation, shrift as my role model in the office:
Well, I'm not actively homicidal. I just want to get on the intercom and scream "Freaks! Freaks! Happiness pie freaks! I declare this office Misanthropy Land and none of you may venture within its borders!"
A two-fer -
Trudy Booth, to a habitually snarly Buffista:
Shrift, you should come to New York where you'd be considered chipper and folksy in your wholesome midwestern ways.
Katie M:
I knew this girl in grad school who was from a small town in Ohio, and had then lived in the same New Jersey town as me for a couple of years (though we didn't know each other at the time).
ME: How did you like it?
HER: Well, it seemed a little unfriendly. I mean, I'd say hello to people and they wouldn't say hello back.
ME: People? Like... random people on the street?
HER: Yeah!
ME: Um, you realize that they thought you were probably crazy, right?
Words of wisdom for the ages, from Cindy:
Matt, remember, if you ever have to go on the lam, you can't take a sofa with you, but a leather coat is de rigeur.