Taken gloriously out of context in Buffy

billytea: Premature ejaculation - it's no longer a secret shame, it's a valid lifestyle choice.

Allyson, Natter:

I never heard of Jondalar's throbbing manhood.

But if I had, Cosmo would suggest that Ayla soak her hand in lubricant and tickle his scrotum.

In Light Bulbs: Daniel C. Jenson: I don't know everything, that's why I have the Buffistas.

- - -

And in Firefly: victor infante: in the universe of my head, Faith can have Kaylee. And I can have popcorn.

Buffistechnology-- ita mentiones an article and meara explains it all

ita: Bug In Trend Micro Anti-Spam Software Blocks All Mail Containing The Letter "P"

meara: Well, I think we all know how dangerous the letter P is! POOL starts with P. Rhymes with T. Which starts TROUBLE! And by trouble I mean...porn. Which ALSO starts with P. You see????

In F2F, an exchange that left me whimpering. The context: Hec, suggesting Teppy should contact Tim for an outtakes reel, and Teppy refusing.

Teppy: Okay....NO. But thanks for thinking of me, all the same.

Hec: My god, but you are a crap weasel of cowardly non-interaction. He sent you script pages! You just hit reply and beg and abase yourself in an act which will cause you excruciating humiliation and self-consciousness. What's the big?

Teppy: Gee, when you put it *that* way...NO.

Aimée, Daniel C. Jensen, and Erin G. in Bitches...

Aimée:

Ok, if you really listen to the lyrics of "Mandy", they really fit the Angel/Buffy thing. A teeny bit of reaching, but mostly, it's there. Wierd.

Daniel:

Hmmm...

"Shadows of a man, a face through a window

Passion!

Cryin' in the night, the night goes into morning.

Ooh! Angel was a bit weepy back then..

Just another day happy people pass my way

Looking in their eyes I see a memory

I never realized how happy you made me."

Yeah, well, it made you Angelus!

Oh Buffy... I left you......

Erin G:

I remember all my life 
raining down as cold as ice. 
Shadows of a man, 
a face through a window cryin' in the night, 
the night goes into 
Morning just another day; 
happy people pass my way. 
Looking in their eyes, 
I see a memory I never realized how happy you made me. 

Oh Buffy well, 
you came and you gave without taking, 
but I sent you away. 
Oh, Buffy well,
kissed me and stopped me from shaking, 
and I need you today. 
Oh, Buffy! 
I'm standing on the edge of time; 
I've walked away when love was mine. 
Caught up in a world of uphill climbing, 
the tears are in my mind and nothin' in rhyming. 

Oh Buffy well, 
you came and you gave without taking, 
but I sent you away. 
Oh, Buffy well, 
kissed me and stopped me from shaking, 
and I need you today. 
Oh, Buffy! 

Yeah, terrifyingly enough, it works pretty well. Scary that the song that works so well for the deathless (and deathful) passionate lurve twixt BuFfYNAnglE is really a scary love song to a beagle.

Hmmm.

From Natter:

Jess Pmoon

a man who wanted to start a business making golfbags from the skin of whales' penises

I'd love to have seen the market research that went into determining there was a demand for these.

Daniel C. Jensen

I keep thinking about a whale waking up after a drunken party to find his penis gone and...

Steph L.

Daniel, that's just a whale urban legend.

Sophia and Holli in Natter

Sophia:

Is Ashton Kutcher this generations Keanu Reeve?

Holli:

I'm convinced that Ashton's not actually as dumb as he looks. Because he shouldn't even have basic motor function if he is.

Dana:

It's like one of those terrible stunt-casting games we played, except real. I expect to see Keanu Reeves AS Abraham Lincoln any second.

DXMachina:

General McClellan: Mr. President, the rebels have fired on Ft. Sumter.

President Lincoln: Whoa...

Deena in Literary

I bring six books (six is a good number, less than that, scary) and already know the order in which I want to read them. I pick up the one I was sure I wanted to read first/most and it looks...eh. I think, 'what was I thinking to bring this?' and pick up the next. It looks mildly intriguing. I start reading it. One of the characters totally throws me for a loop and I get more and more disgusted until I realize that I'm just not going to be enjoying it, and I put it back. Then, my mood is all disgruntled. I think about the order and realize that my head was totally screwed on wrong. I sort through them again and re-order them. I stack them from most want to read to least want to read. I put the one that threw me for a loop on the bottom of the pile. I think about it some more. I go get coffee. I re-order them again. I walk off for an hour because I've been betrayed by my books. I come back and talk to them about it. I decide to be sneaky and slip the second one out of the stack and start reading. It's okay. Fine, it's better than okay. Halfway through, I realize I'm still feeling betrayed by the first two. The now-second one goes to third from the bottom. I put the books down and go find a magazine on bungee jumping, or a book on building your own shortwave radio from the elderly relative's stack of books published before 1940. It's not until late in the night that I can go back and read all the way through the first book on the stack and realize I've got the order right, finally.

My god, it's not just numbers I anthropomorphize. I do it to everything.