Kaylee ,'Out Of Gas'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
Because I love the graceful way he takes it:
connie neil: So, Wolfram, a career synonym for lawyer is monkey pimp? It explains so much.
Wolfram: Now that's going on my next business card. If you'll excuse me, I have to go corrupt some stray monkeys now.
A little further down in the same conversation:
Jess PMoon: NO MORE FUCKING MONKEYS. And I mean that in every way possible.
Wolfram: Hey, a guy's gotta make a living. Sheesh.
Gus, my secret boyfriend, but not my favourite (yet):
And some of you language purists would probably take exception to my beginning a sentence with a coordinating conjunction. Nor should you pass over this egregious abuse of the language. For it is hideous. Yet I have done so. Or so it seems.
Nutty in Bitches:
Mmm, Browder. I don't imagine the man wears leather pants every damn day of his life, more's the pity. Although you wouldn't be able to hear him talk over the squeaking he made as he walked.
Allyson in F2F Planning, explaining LA weather:
Sometimes, it is really friggin hot, here, and you'll wish you could pull off your own skin to be even more naked.
Sometimes, it's so cold here, you might lose your mind and go Donner Party on your roommate instead of raiding the mini-bar.
Sometimes, it is alternately freezing ass cold, and hell's bowels hot, all on the same day.
Occasionally, it rains toads. Also, there are driveby shootings, so wear a bulletproof vest, as well. But make sure it's not flammable in case something explodes. And it should be waterproof, in case it mysteriously hails water balloons.
And then there are earthquakes, wildfires, and mudslides.
We have weather. But mostly, it's 72 degrees and sunny.
I miss Massachusetts.
JZ, ibid.:
every possible weather contingency, up to and including rains of fire, toads, and crackwhores (note to self: galoshes, galoshes, galoshes).
amych in Buffy (context be damned):
Yeah, right, who'd believe that? That's the kind of thing that only happens on the WB....
Maybe it's only COMM material if you're a James fan like me:
amych -- I just got viagra spam from Henry James. The world does not contain enough caffeine to enable me to count the ways in which that's just wrong.
An example of the above Jamesian Viagra spam, per Angus G.
Has the décor of your amorous liaisons been suffering the dolorous lack of that which, were it to spring unbidden to life, as of old, would furnish it with the stiff rod of durance?
Angus Gordon continues on his roll in Un-Americans:
Yeah, as far as I'm concerned it's not a historical reality show until people start exhibiting symptoms of diseases common to the period in question.