Betsy in Dude...

I just walked past building security. They had a sign saying "You must surrender your precious badge" and I immediately grabbed it and hunched over, saying "My preciousss! Mine!"

I was quite disappointed to find the "c" was actually a "v".

Nutty: Also, he looks like Willie Nelson, if you were to starve Willie Nelson and then feed him a lemon.

MechaKrelboyne in Firefly

Mostly, advertisers like insecure people. Reality Shows are populated almost exclusively with insecure people, in order to draw insecure viewers. Why? Because it's easier to convince insecure people that they smell bad.

Scrappy and PMM in Angel. Not really spoilery- just a whiff of spoiler on the air -but I'm whiting out just in case.

Scrappy: If Fred had been dating Riley, she would have said "looks like she likes her products Made in America."

PMM: Of Pure Potato Product!

Natter 7:

Jesse:

Fat does funny things. My father has this random bump on his forehead that's just a little lump of fat. Who knows why?

msbelle:

cause your dad has a fat forehead. has he tried Atkins?

Jesse:

He does not! The rest of him is fat, but his forehead is FINE. Except for the one lump. (Note that by FINE I mean A-OK, not like FOINE.)

There are vampire tires?

Epic, I don't think you've met Maisie J. Volkswagen before now. She's a fine old car, a skilled and staunch fighter, and generally on the side of the good, but she has these mood swings periodically. Goes all broody on me. Reads Sartre. At any moment, I expect to find her wearing leather pants.

Actually got here for a few minutes!

To the above: Dagfari. IJS.

Also, this cries out to be COMMed: BHP, in Baeuracrcy (which I know I cannot apell):

The hyenas and I are just good friends.

From Bitches:

askye:

My big fear was that the Second Coming would happen before I was old enough to do anything exciting. Or at all. I'm not sure what that says about me as a child, or even how I believed. But I always felt so guilty because I didn't want the world to end and Jesus to come back. I didn't care if I was going to go up to Heaven and be with all my family and whatnot. That wasn't the same as going to Australia and seeing koalas live and in person (my big driving desire when I was 8 yrs old). Or later when I had the same fear, the thought of being with God for all eternity didn't make me feel better when I worried that I wouldn't get to go to the Prom or college, or have grandkids, or go to Europe.

Deena:

Every time my dad preached about how ready he was for Jesus to come again, I would think, "Oh, sure YOU are. You've already had sex."

More from Bitches:

billytea:

The way I was taught it, Armageddon is the catalyst for the "end of the world", which will usher in a new world that will exist for 1000 years of peace, prosperity and beauty.

It's more or less the final event. You have the Beast set up in Jerusalem, then the kings of the East turn up to do battle (after a couple of intervening rivers have dried up, very thoughtful of them). They all park themselves in the aforementioned valley and prepare to have at each other, which is where they're stuck for a couple of chapters until Christ turns up (I assume the leaders are still trash- talking at this stage), and the two armies agree that they're not interested in being put through an intervention (especially a divine intervention). So they join forces, pick a fight with Christ, and things go downhill from there (is this a spoiler? Should I be white-fonting?).

connie neil:

No whitefont unless you've been reading ME's outline for Angel.

because connie neil, steph and I all think this was funny:

...after it's all over, everyone's gone home, and then we've had our party, he (God) is supposed to make us a new one (world) that doesn't have pollution in it.

Don't make me get out my Strong's.

connie neil:

It's the Concordance Smackdown! Let's get it on!

Billytea:

since one of Christ's angels has already managed to kill all life in the ocean at Bowl Two, I'm less than impressed with the sudden environmental concern...

Again with the Billytea:

Ok, look, if ever you do get into a smackdown situation? Concordance is the book to be wielding. Great heft, generally hardback, and if you read out a few of the entries then you can sound like you know Krav.

Bible? Feh. (Ok, my parent's Catholic Bible was a massive object, but it was bound in white leather and would stain too easily.) You could try a parallel Bible, but IME the centre of gravity's all wrong. No, lay thee the smackdown with thy Concordance, yo.