'Shindig'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
Shrift, skilfully context-pruned to avoid libel:
thus there was no lizardy fun of the cherry-popping kind, and if anyone tells me there was, I shall run away from you shrieking only to return momentarily with my eardrums pierced and prepared to kill you with a very large gun.
BHP, in Literary:
Nabokov is as precious as a thing that is twee. Nabokov is as manly as a Fabergé dildo encrusted with moonstones.
So much funnier out of context...
Scrappy in Natter:
In that case I choose Ashcroft and do my best to fuck him to death...for the good of my country.
M. Costello:
I think I'm going to screw the dress code this year and finally wear the purple velvet pants. I mean, yeah, they'll consider it an abomination, but this year I'm still the one who doesn't have any arrests nor has been named in any restraining orders.
Steph L. in Bitches:
I will never be out of debt, and it is all because I am a cheap up-against-the-shelves textwhore.
Betsy Hanes Perry in Natter:
It is not that I object to other people's having babies at 47. It is that, having had babies at 30 and 33, and being 43 myself, the thought of another pregnancy in four years fills me with a horror I can extinguish only by contemplating the greater horrors of sex with superannuated right-wing Republicans.
It's sort of the diamond-cuts-diamond theory of nightmares.
Emily:
Holy shit, my brain just went out in a shower of sparks. I'm fumbling around in the dark trying to find the fuse box. Shit! I just tripped over a basal ganglion.
Anne W. over in Fanfic
Back in the bad old days, I had my ninth graders choose and re-write a fairy tale. One student asked if he could use a thermonuclear device somewhere in the story*. Before I could say anything, another student chimed in with: "Well, that gives new meaning to the name 'Cinderella', doesn't it?"
*Unless something was truly warped or disturbing, I tried not to censor content too much in student assignments. The school where I taught was a fairly conservative (but not insanely so) Christian school. One girl, who was in the full throes of teen rebellion, asked if she could do her term paper on Aleister Crowley. "Sure," I said.
Pause.
"You know who he was, right?" she asked.
"Self-styled 'most evil man on Earth' and a big influence on Led Zeppelin. Speaking of which, Dean's doing his term paper on them, so you may want to share some sources," I replied.
I think she was expecting to get in trouble. The final paper included a rather graphic retelling of an incident involving a goat. I honestly think this girl was hoping/expecting to get suspended or expelled. IIRC, I think I pointed out that she used improper formatting for an extended quotation.
Oh, good, someone got that.
Miracleman, in Buffy (non-spoilery)
Everybody is Jesus' type.
See, now I got this whole "The Son of God is just a great big skanky ho" thing happenin'.
Like Peter and Luke are talking at a rockin' party in heaven as they jealously give Jesus and his latest angelic conquest the stink-eye. "Damn, he gets all the chicks. Must be the family connections."
Yup. The Holy Trinity is worse than the Kennedys.