I ducked away from his hand.”Have you done anything you need forgiveness for?” For a second, we’re in the Box. Suspect is a white male, approximately six feet, somewhere in his fifties...

(thunk)

Really? Cause I kind of thought that was weak. But Wambaugh says that's why cop marriages don't last...they look at everybody with their cop face on, and everybody starts to look like a perp...including the wife/SO and kids. Of course he used a lot more words than that.

erika, I thunked because I got hit for a moment with the same regret she had to be feeling when she thought it. Munch can never be Munch to her again - she has to distance him someway, somehow.

Poignant.

Yeah, I felt that too.It's a bummer, even as it serves the story and pushes the angst up to 11...their little repartee is one of my favorite things about H:LOTS. Yeah, it's one thing to say that he is not *just* a bloodthirsty vampire. It is another to ignore that things have changed.

That's it. He's always been particularly human, and now the soul is elsewhere, so the humanity becomes a mask and the wit becomes a weapon. Yet the way you're drawing him, he seems to still have some vestiges underneath. And I'm all about believing in the vestiges, going back to older vampire canon: when Stoker describes the last seconds before Dracula's dissolution into dust, he describes the look of peace on the vampire's face. And if he can feel that he's going to be at peace? It does argue, for me, of some underlying humanity and need.

And this encounter plays that way - he can be hungry, hungry, hungry, and still somehow grieve over the strength of his own hunger, by regretting that this is Kay.

And of course, some women, including the lovely Brigitta Svendsen, would be prepared to argue for his humanity *always* having been vestigial. I don't agree, naturally. But it is the human part of him that interests me...that he is not thinking sire/childe even as he thinks of sucking on Kay...he is mostly picturing her dressed like in Dopplegangland, which I'm sorry more Homicide fans will not be able to picture.

Hmm.

You know, I've got this lovely, generous line edit beta in my inbox, which I greatly appreciate because I wanted someone to pick at my prose and the other folks I had look at the story really didn't.

The problem is, I almost universally disagree with her advice. Thoughtfully disagree, I don't think I'm being kneejerk. So, you know, my story, my rules, but. I feel a little guilty. Oh well.

BTDT. It sucks. I did a stupid thing...I let myself get offended. Is there anything at all you can use? Even if not, telling them thanks but "You're going in a different direction..." should ease the guilt. "You've given me a lot to think about," is good too. Even if it's that she blows goats.

Heh. Katie, always A Moment when that happens, and you find yourself 180 degrees from the person doing the readthrough. Hasn't happened to me in years, luckily.

edit:

"You've given me a lot to think about," is good too. Even if it's that she blows goats.

(beaming at snarky internet wife)

Oh, I'm not offended - I mean, I can see what she's trying to do. (And it's not an *overwhelming* number of suggestions.) I'm not even saying she's coming up with things that are wrong. I just... disagree, which leaves me feeling a little ungrateful.

She's a big girl and can cope, though. I'm just kind of entertained by the extent to which I keep looking at word choice/sentence structure/etc. suggestions, trying them, and then saying "nope. Not me."